


Of Roses and Thorns

by LittlebutFiery



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: AU, Arranged Marriage, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, First Contact War, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-10 09:17:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12908925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlebutFiery/pseuds/LittlebutFiery
Summary: When humans surrender to the turians in the First Contact War, Commander Amanda Shepard is married to Captain Garrus Vakarian to promote the "ideal" relationship between a human and a turian. Though their marriage is arranged, Garrus and Shepard begin to forge a love that will overcome even the greatest of odds.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely inspired by several other amazing Shakarian AU fics, including Enemy Territory, Yours, and For the Hierarchy, but I hope you find I've added something unique to the mix.

_This is Hyra Meleon with the Intergalactic News Network. The human Alliance has offered a conditional surrender to the turian Hierarchy, putting an end to the Relay 314 War. Humans will assimilate into the turian Hierarchy and will serve at the lower end of the Hierarchy’s caste system…_

Amanda Shepard sat in Alliance headquarters, eyes fixed on the tiled floor as she zoned out into space, the news report floating in one ear and out the other.

There were no words to describe the gravity of her situation, how drastically everything had changed for her with two words. _We surrender._

No, it hadn’t been an easy decision for Admiral Grissom, she was sure. But how much was this really going to affect his life? He was a decorated soldier; the turians would be thrilled to welcome him into their ranks.

But her?

She was a decorated soldier, too. She’d killed countless turians in the First Contact War, and she’d gotten pretty damn good at it. Between her biotics and her aim with her beloved Phalanx pistol, those spiny bastards hadn’t stood a chance.

She wasn’t getting welcomed into the Hierarchy so easily, though. No, the skullfaces had other plans for her.

Anderson had only told her last week.

 

_“Shepard…I have news for you,” her commander had said, twisting his uniform cap uncomfortably in his hands._

_“Yes, sir?” she asked, curious. Anderson never got nervous._

_“You heard that we surrendered?” Anderson asked._

_Shepard laughed darkly. “Yes, sir. How could I not?”_

_Anderson hesitated, piquing Shepard’s interest. “Don’t tell me they want me dead for war crimes.”_

_“No, nothing that dramatic,” Anderson waved her off._

_“Prison, then,” Shepard said. She had apparently been known to the Hierarchy as the Angel of Death – she knew they wouldn’t smile kindly on her._

_“No,” Anderson repeated. Shepard frowned, confused._

_Anderson cleared his throat and went on, “Er…they have an unconventional plan to establish peaceful relationships between humans and turians after years of war. And they want you involved.”_

_“Oh?” Shepard demanded._

_“…the Primarch’s nephew. His name is Garrus Vakarian. He was a captain in the turian navy. You might have known him as Archangel,” Anderson said._

_“Yes. He’s a sniper. Killed a lot of good men,” Shepard nodded, frown deepening._

_“They took a page from human history,” Anderson went on. “Shepard, they’ve arranged a marriage between the two of you. You’re going to serve as the model for how a human should interact with a turian.”_

_Shepard exploded, her biotics flaring against her will. “Respectfully sir, but what the fuck? I’m not a fucking toy to trade with the turians to make them like us!”_

_“I didn’t say I liked it!” Anderson snapped. “I fought it, Shepard, believe me. But you and Vakarian are two of the best soldiers in our armies. If the two of you can learn to get along as a married couple, the rest of us can too. That’s the thought process.”_

_“No!” Shepard yelled. “I’m not going to be some pretty little baby-making machine for a fucking skullface! I’ll kill myself before that happens!”_

_“I was afraid you’d say that,” Anderson sighed. “You’re under 24-hour guard until the wedding. It’s in a week.”_

_He turned to leave as two other burly men entered the room. As Shepard screamed and raged, Anderson stopped, murmured, “I’m sorry, Amanda,” and left._

_The two guards had to restrain her to a table, but not before she blasted one of them clear across the room with her biotics._

 

She’d gone from being the Angel of Death to a pretty little toy bride for a goddamn turian hotshot. She was a bargaining chip, nothing more.

God, she hated it.

Hackett, Anderson’s commander, came into the room and stood in front of her, breaking her from her thoughts. He said gruffly, “Let’s go get you to Palaven for your big day, Shepard.”

She followed him to the shuttle bay, where Yeoman Chambers and Joker waited by a small shuttle. They both looked uncomfortable, particularly Joker. Chambers said, faking cheerfulness quite well, “I’m going to get you cleaned up on the ride to Palaven, so you’ll be a beautiful blushing bride.”

“Yeah, right, and I’m gonna go run a marathon,” Joker scowled. “Look, sir, are you sure we’ve gotta do this? It feels like we’re selling her into slavery.”

“The turians have promised to treat her exceedingly well. We’ll get full medical reports on her weekly. Now, you need to get going. No more arguments,” Hackett grumbled.

He turned and left as Chambers ushered Shepard onto the shuttle, Joker limping on behind them. Joker paused in the hold of the shuttle, saying, “Look, Commander, I’m sorry. I don’t want to give you to these pointy bastards. You don’t deserve it.”

“It’s better than someone else,” Shepard shrugged, hoping she could hide how angry and betrayed and hurt and scared she felt. Joker was fragile enough, in so many ways; he didn’t need to worry about her any more than he already was. “I’ll live.”

Joker didn’t have a witty response, or any, so he went and fired up the shuttle.

Chambers pulled a massive box from a cargo slot. She beamed, starting to actually get excited, “Here’s your dress, Commander! Isn’t it beautiful?”

Shepard took a moment to admire the creamy silk and lace of the wedding gown, how its cut would accentuate her not-insubstantial curves. She murmured reluctantly, “Yes, it is beautiful.”

“All the way from a planet called Thessia, apparently,” Chambers said. “The aliens that live there are a lot like us, supposedly. The turians wanted you to be comfortable, so they got you a human-style dress.”

“How kind of them,” Shepard said, flatly. If they really wanted her to be comfortable, they’d call off this whole stupid idea.

Chambers didn’t pick up on the sarcasm, or chose to ignore it, in favor of beginning to unlace the back of the wedding dress. Shepard sighed, beginning to strip out of her civvies so she could put the damn dress on.

 

By the time she stepped off the transport in Palaven’s capital city of Arcanum, Shepard was fully primped and prodded and as ready as she’d ever be for this ridiculous affair. Chambers had spent hours on her hair and makeup, making sure her lips were just the right shade of cherry red, that her red hair was curled just so.

Three turians were waiting for her when the shuttle landed. One said gruffly, “Name’s Nihlus Kryik. I’m here to take you to the temple, ma’am.”

“Can my friends come?” Shepard demanded, trying to feel commanding and warlike despite being dolled up in a frilly dress.

“No. The only parties permitted in the temple for the marriage are the bride, groom, and families,” Nihlus shook his head. He barked at Joker, “You’re clear to head back to Earth, humans. Safe travels.”

“We’re not just dropping her off and leaving!” Joker protested. “Not until I know you’re not going to hurt her!”

“I’ll be fine, Joker,” Shepard said, more for her reassurance than his. “You and Chambers need to get home in time for dinner. I’ll see you guys soon enough.”

With this, she stepped off of the shuttle and strode bravely towards Nihlus and the other turians. “It’s hot as fuck on this planet. Let’s get to this temple, so I can get into some goddamn air conditioning.”

One of the other turians, one with an unusual silvery sheen to his plates, laughed boisterously. “Vakarian’s gonna have fun with this one.”

“Shut up, Saren,” Nihlus growled. “Follow me, ma’am.”

Nihlus led the way towards a large marble building, Shepard in tow, with Saren and the third turian flanking her.

“This isn’t like a Catholic wedding, is it?” Shepard asked, desperate to ease the painful silence.

“Uh…” Nihlus managed. “It’s a long ceremony, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Fuck,” Shepard whined.

Saren laughed again. “No one likes weddings. That’s why only family goes, probably.”

Nihlus smacked him. “I said shut up, Saren. You’re going to scare her.”

“Nothing you can say will scare me,” Shepard replied fiercely.

“Hey, no need to act tough,” the third turian, a female, said soothingly. “You’re going to be stuck with us a while – we’re your fiancé’s squadmates. You’ll be seeing a lot of us.”

“Don’t call him that,” Shepard growled.

“Your fiancé?” Nihlus echoed the female’s words. “Well, he is.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like or accept it,” Shepard replied haughtily.

“You’ll change your tune, sooner or later,” Saren shrugged.

“Now be quiet. We’re here,” Nihlus said, shushing Saren and the female turian. “Ma’am, they’ll wait outside. I’ll take you to the bonding chamber.”

Shepard followed Nihlus inside, the only sound audible her shoes clicking on the marble floor. Nihlus led her through a number of twisting passageways until they arrived at an intricately carved wooden door.

He asked gently, “You ready, ma’am?”

When Shepard took a breath to answer with bluster, he asked quieter, “For real, ma’am. No need to play fearless hero with me.”

She lost her bluster, lip trembling as she held back scared tears. She shook her head.

Nihlus, to his credit, tried to offer a comforting hug. He assured her, “Garrus is a good man. I’ve trusted him with my life since we were children. He might not be what you imagined, if you even imagined anybody, but he’ll do right by you.”

“Thank you,” Shepard managed. “Now, I should go in. I don’t want to be late to my own wedding.”

Nihlus nodded, his mandibles flaring in what Shepard assumed was a turian smile, as he opened the door to the chamber for her.

She took a few steps in, looking around in wonder. The ceiling was high and vaulted, beautiful gold-leaf covered columns stretching up into the heavens. A small altar was in the front of the room; a few turians were standing around it already.

They all turned upon hearing the door open, staring at her as she walked towards them. Shepard swallowed hard, feeling nerves come back.

They were all nicely dressed, but one was in particular. He was a massive turian, towering over his fellows; streaks of blue ran across his face and mandibles. Eyes a piercing ice blue watching Shepard as she made her way to the altar.

Three other turians stood off to the side – another male turian and two females, one leaning heavily on a cane, the other still a juvenile. So this Garrus had a small family, just as she did. His was bigger than hers, even.

Garrus’s father stepped forward to greet her, bowing slightly. “It is a pleasure to meet you, daughter of mine. We will ensure you are well-cared for – please, care for my son as you would any human bondmate.”

Shepard simply nodded, suddenly unable to speak.

The ceremony was long, as Nihlus had promised. Shepard barely looked at Garrus during it, unwilling to accept that the hulking creature behind her was going to be hers to have and to hold for the rest of her miserable life.

By the time she left the chamber in Garrus’s arms, she had pretty blue streaks of paint on her cheeks to match Garrus’s, and a new last name.

Amanda Shepard had died in the war. Amanda Vakarian now called Palaven home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: attempted rape/noncon. If that makes you too uncomfortable to read this chapter (this will be the only time this happens), message me on Tumblr and I'll send you a brief plot summary so you know what's going on for the next chapter.

The day Garrus found out he was arranged to be married to a fucking _human_ , he was in such a rage that he broke almost all the furniture in his apartment – he’d thrown his kitchen table clear out the window and nearly killed a passerby.

He was in love, madly in love, with Vetra Nyx, his uncle’s bodyguard. He had actually been contemplating asking his parents for permission to marry her when his uncle Adrien had come to visit.

“An honor,” the almighty Primarch had called it. “The beginning of a new era,” blah blah blah.

The only good thing about humans was how easy it was to kill them. Last thing he needed, or wanted, was to be married to one, expected to love and cherish and make little freak-of-nature babies with one.

And yet, his parents had consented to the match. Garrus’s sister had nearly been killed in the war – they were eager to end it, willing to sacrifice their son to spare countless lives.

So much for victory at any cost.

Nihlus and Saren and Nyreen had made him the butt end of countless jokes following the news of his engagement getting out. His anger built back up until he couldn’t take it anymore.

He and Nyreen had sparred in his apartment following a particularly heated argument over Garrus’s new designation as the “human fucker.”

They had quickly corrected the nickname by fucking the life out of each other after an intense sparring session.

Against his apartment’s window.

In full view of the public.

Oh, it had been quite the scandal. Garrus had to listen to his uncle Adrien berate him for almost two hours about besmirching the family honor, about risking the fragile peace they’d established with the humans.

As if his new “wife” would care if he screwed someone else from time to time – hell, she’d probably prefer it that way.

The great Primarch Victus had been particularly pissed when Garrus made this point aloud, vowing to disembowel his nephew if he was unfaithful to the human.

So, naturally, Garrus had slept with Nyreen again. And Vetra. And Mariette. Maybe, if he ruined the family honor enough, they’d pass the “honor” of being forcibly married to a spirits-cursed human to someone else.

Unfortunately, his plan didn’t work. Adrien had been pissed, that was for sure, but not enough to call the wedding off. All Garrus’s brilliant plan got him was another lecture and a battery of STD tests.

As he considered the hell that was the week since his engagement was announced, someone knocked on the door. It swung open to reveal his baby sister, Solana, who looked immensely relieved, saying, “Oh, thank the spirits, you’re _not_ fucking somebody today.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Garrus grumbled.

“Mom and Dad sent me in here to help get you ready for the wedding,” Solana said, walking into the room and closing it behind her. “Here’s your dress uniform. Let’s get you in it.”

Garrus was quiet, turning away. Solana sighed. “Look, Garrus. I’m sorry you have to do this. But they said the human’s a soldier too, right? Maybe you’ll like her.”

“Like a human? Very funny, Sol,” Garrus laughed bitterly. “I spent too long killing them to be able to like one.”

Solana sighed again. “Being a grump about it isn’t going to help anything.”

“Would you be any happier if you were me?” Garrus demanded. “She’s probably acting the same way. We can be miserable together.”

His sister just shook her head. “I’m not going to argue with you about this. Let’s just get you ready for the wedding. Shut up and get dressed.”

 

If there was any human to be stuck with for the rest of his life, Garrus mused when Shepard walked into the bonding chamber, it was the Angel of Death. He recognized her right away, just as she likely recognized him. They were both some of the most famous soldiers in their armies, responsible for countless kills.

She was pretty enough, in a bizarre, foreign way, the way some found asari attractive. Her fringe was short-cropped and fire-red, her eyes glared at him with green fire. Pale skin marred with a myriad of scars stood out against her wedding dress, a silly human tradition.

Shepard was a warrior, just like Garrus. She wasn’t just going to give in to her fate easily, he could tell. No, she was going to make his life hell.

Great.

The ceremony was painfully long, as they all were in turian society. His mother wept as though it was a happy occasion, as though she’d gained a daughter-in-law to be proud of. Even Solana looked a little misty-eyed as Garrus roughly smeared blue paint onto Shepard’s cheeks in a crude imitation of his colony marks.

As was turian tradition, he carried her from the bonding chamber – she didn’t seem surprised when he picked her up, so it must have been human tradition as well. Spirits, she was so small, so light, fragile as a baby.

 

The pair rode in silence back to Garrus’s apartment, neither even daring to look at their new spouse. From the corner of his eye, Garrus could see the proud, defiant angle of her chin, unbowed and unbroken by her circumstances.

Maybe she was part turian after all.

They arrived at his apartment after what felt like hours. Again, keeping with tradition, Garrus carried her from the cab, over the threshold of his apartment, and set her down inside.

“Welcome home, I guess,” Garrus said awkwardly, not quite sure what to say or do.

Shepard – well, Vakarian now, but still Shepard in his mind – looked around before asking simply, “Where’s my room?”

“Well, our room…” Garrus began.

“No. My room,” Shepard repeated.

Garrus sighed. This already wasn’t going well. “You can have the main bedroom. It’s got the blue-and-gold décor.”

Shepard nodded and headed in that direction without another word. Garrus made to follow her, but the door quickly slammed shut behind her.

Well. That wasn’t promising.

And there was a…matter he had yet to resolve.

Turian marriages had to be consummated to be recognized by the Hierarchy. For this hellish marriage to matter, for there to be a point in all this, their marriage had to be recognized.

But…she was about as likely to sleep with him as he was with her.

Feeling childish, he made a vidcall to his uncle. Adrien had had this stupid idea, after all – he could resolve the issue.

His uncle’s advice had been simple and cold.

“If she is unwilling to give, then you must take.”

Nihlus, Saren, and his father had agreed with him, when Garrus called and asked them for their advice.

Garrus had never considered himself particularly predatory or aggressive, not compared to the turians who were content to rape and pillage their way through human colonies. He’d never felt the urge, partly because humans were so repulsive to him.

And yet, here he was.

He took a breath to steel his nerves. It was reminiscent of his battlefield ritual before a particularly tricky shot, and that was all he needed to get the adrenaline flowing.

He was Garrus Vakarian. Amanda Shepard Vakarian was his wife, now, and he was going to take what was his.

Garrus crossed the living room to the bedroom door in a few steps and kicked the obviously-locked door open with one harsh kick.

Shepard screamed, startled. “What the fuck?”

Garrus strode across the room, grabbing her by the shoulders and tossing her down on the plush bed.

In an instant, Shepard realized what was going on. She screamed again, beginning to kick and fight back. The human was powerful, Garrus had to give her that – she kicked him hard enough that he staggered back a few steps.

That only served to stir up some primal instinct in him; he growled and leapt forward, pinning her down by her shoulders.

“What the hell kind of fucked up people are you pointy bastards?” Shepard snarled, small hands scrabbling against Garrus’s large ones. She made to kick him again, but Garrus braced himself for it this time; her kick barely affected him.

“I’m taking what’s mine,” Garrus snarled back. He pressed her down harder into the bed with a forearm, using his now-free other hand to tear her dress to shreds.

Shepard’s struggle was getting weaker – his arm was pressed down partially on her throat, half-strangling her. Her protests were still strong, though, as was her language.

Garrus took a moment to admire the body laid almost-bare before him, save her bra and panties. Freckles dotted her skin like stars, marred here and there by an ugly red scar. Hm. Perhaps humans could be attractive after all.

Another deft swipe of his talons, and gone were her underthings. She instinctively curled up, trying to hide her naked body from him, but he forced her legs down as he straddled her.

Spirits, was she a fighter – she still kicked and clawed at him, desperately trying to protect herself, but she seemed to know she was much weaker than he was. Tears had gathered in the corners of her eyes, and there was something pathetic about the way she continued to fight.

Garrus unbuckled his pants with his free hand, shoving them down to his knees – a task easier said than done with rapidly shifting plates. Something about this seemed to terrify Shepard more than any of their previous fighting.

She burst into tears, loud sobs breaking in her half-strangled throat. Even as she cried, she fought, one of her kicks narrowly missing Garrus’s now-freed erection.

Garrus raked talons half-gently down her side, causing her to shudder and wince away at once. Shepard squeezed her eyes shut, blindly scrabbling for freedom. It was pitiful.

Feeling emboldened by her cowardice, Garrus turned her head towards him, growling in her ear, “Open your eyes. I want to see you when I fuck you.”

She obeyed, green eyes meeting Garrus’s blue.

Everything changed in that split second.

Her eyes, which had been so full of life and spirit and fight only minutes ago, were sad and empty. No, not empty.

They were full.

He’d seen that expression a hundred times, if he’d seen it once.

Tarquin, Garrus’s beloved cousin, had had that expression in his eyes as he lay bleeding to death from a tank shell to the stomach. Tyrion had had that expression as he watched his bondmate Hestia mauled to death by human war dogs. Selena had had that expression when she found out her son was being sent on a suicide mission.

Earth-shattering, unconquerable fear.

In that moment, Garrus recognized something he hadn’t before.

They weren’t all that different, humans and turians. Shepard wasn’t this despicable, evil thing. She was someone’s daughter, someone’s friend. She was a creature worthy of something so much better than this.

He couldn’t do it.

Garrus thrust himself backwards, staggering back towards the door while Shepard looked on in fear and confusion.

He ran to the bathroom, vomiting violently into the toilet.

As he heaved and retched, sick at the thought of what he had nearly done, he didn’t care if the others deemed him a coward or a failure or anything like that.

Garrus Vakarian was a lot of things, but cruel was not one of them.

Damn what anyone else said.


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard moved from the main bedroom to the smaller one, the one with the intact door and attached bathroom, as Garrus vomited up his shame and disgust.

She didn’t come out.

This time, he didn’t make her.

Instead, he made small meals for her and left them by her door every day. Garrus was the first to admit he had no fucking clue how to cook – for himself, much less a human – but he was willing to try.

He’d wronged Shepard, violently and horribly wronged her, and needed to make it right.

So, every day he set a pitiful sandwich by her door, the only levo food Solana could scrounge up for him. He’d go off to do other things around the apartment and come back to find the plate in the same spot, minus the sandwich.

Once, he waited by the door, hoping to speak to her, but she didn’t open the door until he’d dozed off. By the time he awoke, the sandwich was gone, with no trace of the door having even opened.

She was cautious, that was certain – not that he blamed her. He’d be just as cautious, if not more so, had their roles been reversed.

But sooner or later, she’d have to come out. They were expected to go on all kinds of publicity tours and the like to promote their “happy” marriage, the “ideal” turian-human relations.

That was hard to do when half of the “happy” couple was hiding from the other.

Rather than telling Adrien about the situation, which Garrus _knew_ could only end in disaster, he decided to try a more…unconventional approach.

He made a vidcall to Nihlus on day 29 of Shepard’s self-imposed imprisonment. His XO answered with, “Garrus. Long time, no talk. How’s the ol’ ball-and-chain?”

Garrus groaned, making Nihlus laugh. “That good, huh?”

“She’s locked herself in my guest room and won’t come out,” Garrus replied mournfully.

“Well, she can’t stay in there forever,” Nihlus said. “She’ll get hungry sooner or later. How long can humans go without food, anyway?”

“I’m not trying to starve her out,” Garrus scowled. “I leave food by her door and she takes it when I’m not around.”

“Damn, you must have been horrible in bed. She won’t even face you!” Nihlus laughed.

Garrus winced – Nihlus had hit far closer to the truth than he knew. After an awkward pause, Nihlus cleared his throat and said, “So, you’re not calling just to chat. What do you need?”

“What kind of weapons did Shepard use in the war?” Garrus asked.

“Hell if I know. She’s a scary biotic, I know that much,” Nihlus shrugged.

Garrus’s glare made Nihlus realize his answer was insufficient, so he went on, “…but I’ll look up her personnel record.”

After a brief pause, Nihlus returned to the call, saying, “All she used was a Phalanx pistol. Shit, she must be incredible, if she can kill as many of us as she did with just some biotics and a pistol.”

“Thanks, Nihlus,” Garrus nodded. “Talk to you later. Hopefully I’ll have better news next time.”

“Give her hell for me,” Nihlus said, closing the vidcall.

Garrus messaged Solana as soon as the call ended.

_GV: Hey, Sol._

_SV: Big bro. What’s up? How’s Amanda?_

_GV: …got a favor to ask._

_SV: That good, huh? What did you do?_

_GV: …took uncle Adrien’s advice on my love life. Won’t be doing that again._

_SV: You bastard. How badly is she hurt?_

_GV: Physically, not at all._

_SV: You’re terrible._

_GV: Look, Sol, I feel bad enough as it is. I’m trying to get her to come out of her room so I can talk to her._

_SV: I’m not helping._

_GV: Sol, please!_

_SV: I don’t blame her for hiding! What you did was wrong._

_GV: Almost did._

_SV: What?_

_GV: I couldn’t do it. I went and threw up instead. Some turian I am._

_SV: …you’re a better man than anybody who gave you advice. What do you need?_

_GV: She used a Phalanx pistol in the war. I want to give her one so she feels safer. Can you get one for me? I’m not supposed to leave the apartment on my “honeymoon.”_

_SV: Consider it done. Love you, Garrus._

_GV: Love you more, Sol._

Solana came through, as Garrus knew she would, showing up at dinnertime with a shiny new Phalanx pistol in hand.

She hugged Garrus, offering him the box as she said very seriously, “This was hard to get since I haven’t finished my mandatory service yet. You better appreciate me.”

“I do, Sol,” Garrus replied, hugging her back tightly. “Thank you.”

“Don’t hurt her again,” Solana warned. “Or I won’t blame her if she kills you.”

Garrus laughed darkly. “I don’t plan on it. No matter what anyone else says.”

“Good,” Solana smiled. “Now, what did you make me for dinner?”

Garrus set the pistol down by Shepard’s door with her sandwich before heading to the kitchen to cook for Solana.

 

Solana had just left when the distinct sound of a door opening was audible from the living room. Garrus turned to see Shepard standing in the doorway, the Phalanx in her hand. She had scrounged up some of Garrus’s casual clothes to wear, which were comically large on her.

“Why?” she demanded, voice rusty from weeks of disuse.

“What?” Garrus asked, surprised to see her out of her room.

“Why?” Shepard repeated. “You gave me a Phalanx. Why?”

“So you would feel safe,” Garrus replied. His honesty seemed to surprise her.

“You tried to rape me,” she accused after a short silence.

“Yes, I did,” Garrus admitted. The words tasted bitter in his mouth.

“So why the fuck do you care if I feel safe?” Shepard snarled angrily. “ _You’re_ the reason I don’t feel safe!”

“Because I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have hurt you,” Garrus replied, taking a cautious step towards her. She took a matching one back, starting to raise the pistol, so he paused, hands up in surrender. “And I wanted you to be able to protect yourself. So nothing like that ever happens again.”

“Why should I believe you?” Shepard demanded, hands trembling as she held the pistol.

“I…don’t know,” Garrus admitted. “For what it’s worth…I’m sorry.”

Shepard laughed bitterly. “Right.”

“I am,” Garrus insisted. “I was a fucking idiot. That’s…not me.”

The woman regarded him both curiously and suspiciously, still pointing the gun at him. Since she didn’t interrupt him, Garrus quickly went on, “I…I truly am sorry, Shepard. I…didn’t know what to do. I asked for advice…I…”

He sighed. “I fucked up.”

“No kidding,” Shepard replied, lowering the gun. She paused and went on slowly, “I can tell you’re being sincere. So I’ll give you another chance. But things aren’t going to be all rainbows and sunshine right away.”

Garrus nodded. “I wouldn’t expect them to be.”

“We’ll play nice for the publicity tours and see where things go from there,” Shepard continued. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll start to get along.”

She tucked the Phalanx into her waistband and headed back to her room. As Garrus watched her go, he couldn’t help but wish her words would come true.


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard woke early the next morning, hunger clawing at her stomach. It had been almost a month since she’d eaten anything more substantial than a flimsy cheese sandwich.

She didn’t even like the kind of cheese Garrus had picked, so really, she’d only had bread for a month.

She crept from her room, careful not to wake the turian sleeping on the couch in the living room. Shepard had no desire to interact with him any more than necessary, even if he seemed remorseful for his actions. He was still a turian, her race’s mortal enemies, and even if she was married to him, she didn’t have to like him. Plenty of people were married and hated each other.

The kitchen was massive and state-of-the-art – of course it was, since Garrus was practically turian royalty. She opened the fridge and sighed.

Someone had gone grocery shopping for her and clearly tried their best, but had no idea what they were doing. A random hodgepodge of levo food sat in the fridge, although most of it didn’t even need to be refrigerated – a bag of chips, some bread, a single apple, some rice, a head of lettuce, and two massive blocks of cheese sat on the shelf, looking grotesquely out of place among the strangely-colored turian foods.

Well, Shepard was nothing if not resourceful. She started assembling yet another goddamn sandwich, grumbling to herself the whole time.

“I hope that levo food is okay.”

The voice made her jump and scream, whirling around with the comically large turian bread knife in hand. Garrus was standing there shirtless, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

The two stared at each other a moment, both startled by the other, before Garrus managed, “Thanks for not stabbing me? Um…is that food edible for you?”

“Um…yes,” Shepard nodded, lowering the knife she had instinctively wielded. “I am going to need something other than sandwiches, though. It’s all I’ve eaten for a fucking month.”

“I’ll have Solana get you something from the levo food shop. Just make a list and she’ll get what she can,” Garrus replied.

“Solana?” Shepard asked.

“My baby sister,” Garrus said. “We can’t leave the apartment on our ‘honeymoon,’ so she’s going to do all our shopping for us until we’re allowed to leave.”

Right – Shepard now remembered seeing a young female turian at the wedding. That must have been Solana. She paused and asked, “Why do you even have a levo food shop in Arcanum? Aren’t you pointy assholes dextro?”

“There’s more species than just us two in this big wide galaxy, Shepard,” Garrus sounded amused. “Asari, drell, hanar, salarians…they’re all levo-based.”

“Oh,” Shepard replied lamely.

“Anyway, just make a list and Solana will do her best. I’ll let her know to come by today,” Garrus said. He opened the fridge and groaned. “Sol, why is all the food you get so hard to cook?”

“Don’t tell me you’re as incompetent cooking for yourself as you were for me,” Shepard raised an eyebrow, biting into her almost-acceptable sandwich. “Because damn.”

Garrus sighed. “We had servants when I was growing up.”

“So you are incompetent,” Shepard scowled. She dialed up her omni-tool. “Well, we can’t have your baby sister over every day, and I don’t want any more turians in this apartment than we already have. I’ll help.”

“The great Commander Shepard is going to cook for me?” Garrus laughed, incredulous.

“No. With you. I don’t know about your people, but our women aren’t all housewives. I’m certainly not going to be one,” Shepard countered.

Garrus, taken aback by both her offer and her venom, didn’t know what to say. Shepard tore off another bite of her sandwich before opening the fridge and pulling out a few ingredients per the pictures on her omni-tool.

She tossed them down on the counter. “Well, let’s get cooking, dear.”

Garrus stared at her blankly. Was this…was this really happening?

“Go wash your hands first. Basic cooking rule,” Shepard ordered, and Garrus, still bewildered, obeyed.

He returned to the counter, where Shepard was struggling with the packaging on the abraxas. He didn’t particularly care for the fish, but with the mood Shepard was in, he wasn’t going to complain.

“Here, let me do it,” Garrus said gently, taking the packaging from Shepard’s small hands and easily tearing it open.

“Thanks,” she said grudgingly. She quickly turned back to her omni-tool and said, “Okay. So we need to dice the fish.”

“Dice?” Garrus asked.

Shepard sighed. “Cut into little pieces. Have you never stepped in a kitchen before?”

“I’m surprised you have,” Garrus replied.

“I wanted to be a chef until the war broke out. Dad was an old Alliance lifer, so my parents pressured me into the service. And here I am,” Shepard shrugged.

Garrus chuckled, trying to picture Shepard as a chef instead of the fearless soldier she was. She took this the wrong way, snarling, “What’s so fucking funny?”

“Nothing!” Garrus said quickly. “So…I dice the fish. Then what?”

He pulled a knife from one of the kitchen drawers, going to work on the abraxas. Shepard glared at him before reading further on the omni-tool. “We mince some…er…gre-ne-ish?”

“Grenaesh. It’s an herb,” Garrus replied. “What does mince mean?”

“Cut into little pieces,” Shepard said, looking through the pantry to find the matching herb.

“…isn’t that what dice means?” Garrus asked. When Shepard turned around to scowl at him, he continued, “It’s an honest question. I’m not trying to be a smartass. For once.”

“I shouldn’t be trying to teach a turian about the finer details of cooking,” Shepard sighed. “They’re practically the same. Just cut up the damn fish.”

“I had no idea you were interested in cooking,” Garrus said as Shepard returned with the grenaesh. “Do you want Solana to bring you some better cooking supplies when she comes by next? I don’t have much.”

“Look, I know you’re sorry for what happened. You don’t need to buy me presents and schmooze me to make it better,” Shepard said, beginning to wash the herbs.

“I’m not,” Garrus replied, a little hurt. “We’re stuck together. I’d rather have you happy than miserable. For both our sakes.”

Shepard laughed and smiled, actually smiled. “You’re right. Sure, I’d love some better cooking supplies than two knives and a fork. Maybe something human-sized, too.”

“Consider it my family’s wedding gift to you,” Garrus said. Shepard laughed again.

“Maybe you aren’t so bad, Vakarian,” Shepard said. “I mean…all things considered.”

“Call me Garrus,” he said quickly. “We’re married. Vakarian sounds…strange coming from somebody who isn’t part of my squad.”

“Then you should probably call me Amanda,” Shepard replied. “Hell, my last name isn’t even Shepard anymore.”

Garrus nodded.

There was a peaceful silence for a moment before Garrus asked, “So…what’s next?”

“We sauté the fish in a – you’re still dicing it?” Amanda shook her head. “We’ll have to work on your cooking speed, too. But at least one of us will have something better than crap for brunch today.”

“Thanks, _sweetheart_ ,” Garrus teased. Amanda started to protest before she laughed.

“Anything for you, _dear_ ,” she replied sarcastically.

 

Solana arrived half an hour later, an armful of the groceries Garrus had requested in hand.

She was nervous, to say the least. Garrus had said that Amanda came out of her room, finally, but not much beyond that. How were they getting along? What if they were fighting?

She opened the door to hear an angry female voice shriek, “What the fuck are you doing?”

Well, fuck.

Solana dropped all the groceries and ran inside, Hierarchy-issued pistol at the ready in case she had to defend one of the happy couple from the other.

Instead, she found her brother and his wife sitting on the couch, watching a human cooking show on the vidscreen. Garrus was eating something that smelled delicious, while Amanda was gesturing angrily at the vidscreen.

“Um?” Solana managed.

“Sol,” Garrus greeted warmly. He noticed her pistol in hand and asked, “Planning an invasion, little sis?”

“I heard screaming. I wanted to make sure you weren’t trying to hurt Amanda,” Solana replied angrily. She shoved the pistol back into its holster. “I see you two are warming up nicely.”

“Apparently I can’t cook for shit, and humans can, so here we are,” Garrus shrugged, mouth full of whatever Amanda had apparently cooked for him.

“So you’re making her do all the cooking? Just hire a servant,” Solana scowled.

“Not on your life,” Amanda shook her head. “He’s learning how to cook. No husband of mine is going to get by not knowing how to eat by himself. Right, _dear_?”

“Of course, _sweetie_ ,” Garrus replied, shoving another bite of lunch in his mouth.

The pet names caught Solana off-guard until she realized they were being sarcastic. She sighed – she’d hoped they’d click instantly, the whole assault aside, and they were already bickering like krogan. Then again, Garrus was nothing if not a stubborn bastard, and it seemed like Amanda was the same.

“I got the groceries and such that you asked for,” Solana said. “They’re…um, in a heap by the door. If you don’t mind helping me.”

“Be right there,” Garrus waved her off. “I need to know if Chef Dennis or Chef Alyssa is the Chopped Champion.”

Solana sighed. Amanda laughed, getting up to follow Solana while Garrus remained glued to the vidscreen.

“I hope you’re well,” Solana half-asked her new sister-in-law when they were around the corner.

“Hungry, but it’s not like that’s anything new,” Amanda said. “I’d rather be home, but…”

Solana frowned. “I’m sorry. I know you would. For what it’s worth…I think this whole thing was a stupid idea, but since it brought an end to the war, Mom and Dad were okay with it.”

“Yeah. My parents are dead, so I didn’t really have anybody to argue with them. Except my commander,” Amanda sighed. “They didn’t listen to him.”

“You’re brave. Braver than any turian I know,” Solana said, putting a gentle hand on Amanda’s shoulder. “Except maybe Garrus. You two are in this together.”

“Yeah. That’s turned out well so far,” Amanda snorted.

“He took some poor advice,” Solana said. “Believe me. My brother is a kind soul, once you get past the smartassery and sarcasm. If you give him a chance, you may learn to see him as I do.”

“I hope so,” Amanda sighed, tough façade cracking. “I don’t want to live in enemy territory forever. I want to be home.”

“And I pray to the spirits every night that you will come to find Palaven as home,” Solana replied. “I pray that you and Garrus will find happiness together.”

Amanda smiled sadly. “Me too, Solana.

“Me too.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! This chapter gave me the worst writer's block for some reason.

The next morning, Garrus was the one to awake early. He passed Amanda’s room on his way to the kitchen and stopped to glance at her.

She was sprawled out on her stomach, one of her arms dangling over the side of the bed while she drooled into her pillow. She looked so vulnerable like this, and more than slightly comical, Garrus had to admit. He felt the urge to go tuck her in – she had kicked her blankets off in the night and looked cold.

Common sense stopped his feet from taking him inside Amanda’s room. The last time he’d been in her bedroom, he’d tried to hurt her. If she awoke to see him standing over her, he’d never be able to regain her trust, so away he walked.

And yet, his thoughts drifted to her. He hoped she wasn’t cold.

He meandered into the kitchen, rubbing his tired eyes. Garrus was starving, but he wasn’t about to wake his wife to help him make breakfast.

He pulled up his omni-tool, steeled himself for the challenge, and began to prepare himself something more complex than Blast-Oh’s to eat.

Almost an hour and a mound of dirty dishes later, Garrus sat down in the living room to eat his bowl of Blast-Ohs. He’d clean up the failed attempts at cured cibum, pancakes, and an omelet later.

Maybe he should’ve woken up Amanda after all. He could already sense she was going to taunt him to no end about this, if she wasn’t pissed about the pile of dishes.

Garrus turned on the vidscreen, which was still set to the human cooking channel he had watched with Amanda the previous night. He laughed, remembering how passionate she had been about the silly competition…and how much he’d come to care about it too.

He still thought Chef Dennis had been robbed. Idiot humans didn’t know what talent they’d skipped over. If the man could make human food that looked edible, much less tasty, to a turian, he deserved to win.

More important than the competition show, though, was the fact that his channel guide told him that his favorite vid was on.

Garrus didn’t care how many times he’d seen Fleet and Flotilla, he could – and would – watch it again. It had the best soundtrack to any vid on the extranet, and he wasn’t even slightly embarrassed that he knew most of the script.

He switched to the channel playing the vid and was immediately deafened by the sweeping overture during the introduction.

From Amanda’s room, he heard a startled shriek, a thump, and a bellow of, “The fuck?”

“Sorry!” he called frantically, pausing the vid, hoping to calm her surprised anger before it got worse. “I forgot we turned the volume up for Chopped!”

Amanda came into the living room, hair tousled and mussed from her pillow, sleep still clouding her green eyes. She rubbed her head and scowled, “Hell of a wakeup call, asshole. Could’ve just knocked.”

Garrus sighed. “I said I was sorry.”

“You scared the shit out of me,” Amanda went on, though she seemed to be calming down.

“I’ll make you breakfast to make up for it,” Garrus promised, then remembered the mountain of dishes and failed attempts at food. “Um…do you like Blast-Oh’s?”

“You’re useless,” Amanda laughed.

“I’m a pretty good alarm clock,” Garrus shot back.

She actually smiled, chuckling a little.

Spirits, her smile took his breath away. Sure, it was strange, with her odd flat human teeth, without any humming subvocals to indicate she was pleased, but nonetheless, it was beautiful. It split her face in two, little dimples forming in her cheeks, and it made her eyes sparkle.

“…Garrus?” Amanda asked, bringing him back to reality. “You’re staring. It creeps me out.”

“How about I get those Blast-Oh’s?” Garrus asked quickly, standing up and spilling his bowl everywhere.

“How about _I_ get my breakfast, and you clean up your mess?” Amanda replied, amused.

Garrus made to stop her from walking into the kitchen but moved too late; she stopped dead in the doorway, eyes wide. “What the _fuck_ happened in here?”

“I…tried to cook,” Garrus mumbled.

“Tried is the key word,” Amanda chuckled. “I hope you don’t expect me to do the dishes. Or Solana.”

“I’ll do them,” Garrus shook his head. “I’ll…need some more cooking lessons.”

“Yes, that’s obvious,” Amanda teased, offering a little smirk. “Well, since I think you used all the dishes, I guess it will be Blast-Oh’s for breakfast.”

She went to pour herself a bowl of them while Garrus grabbed the handtowel from by the sink, wiping up his spilled cereal in the living room.

Amanda plopped down on the couch with her breakfast and watched him work before turning her attention to the vidscreen. “What’s on?”

“A vid from a few years back,” Garrus said nonchalantly. For some reason, he didn’t want her to know it was his favorite vid. “I’ll start it up once I finish cleaning up.”

Amanda ignored him, picking up the remote and starting Fleet and Flotilla again. Almost immediately her eyes narrowed and she said, “This is a romance vid.”

“It has romance in it,” Garrus confirmed. “Why?”

“I _hate_ chick flicks. Hell, why were you about to watch one?” Amanda asked.

“It’s not a ‘chick flick,’” Garrus protested, annoyed, though he had no idea what a chick flick even _was_. “It’s got action in it too. It’s a love story that happens in a war.”

Amanda shook her head but then shrugged and said, “Well, if it’s bad, I can just make fun of it. Let’s watch this vid of yours.”

Suddenly, Garrus had no desire to watch anymore, but Amanda seemed set on her plan, so that was that. He tossed the soaking-wet towel in the washing machine before sitting back down on his end of the couch.

Amanda had chosen the opposite end of the couch, leaving an awkward emptiness between them. Garrus was pretty sure she was still uncomfortable around him – he would be, were he in her shoes – so he left the space alone, but it felt odd. Something about her made him want to put his arm around her, to cuddle her close and rest his head on her fiery hair. It looked so soft, impossibly soft, and he was dying to see if his theory was right.

Instead, he waited. Someday, maybe she’d trust him enough to let him run his fingers through her hair, to pull her close and hold her tight.

Garrus blinked. Since when had he wanted to do _any_ of those things? Spirits, her smile only a few minutes ago must have had some strange effect on him.

“Huh. This isn’t so bad,” Amanda commented in between bites of cereal, breaking Garrus from his thoughts. She hesitated, then asked, “…er, what species has the helmets on? Why don’t they take them off?”

“Your people really haven’t had contact with anyone besides turians, have you?” Garrus asked, intrigued.

Amanda shook her head. “Nope. Just you assholes.”

Garrus laughed. “Thankfully, you weren’t our first contact with aliens. Ours was with the quarians, actually – the species you were asking about. They have weak immune systems so they have to leave the suits on all the time.”

“That sucks,” Amanda said with a simple shrug, returning her attention to the vid.

Nothing seemed to faze her, and that was remarkable. Garrus appreciated it, and admired her for it more than a little.

They watched the vid in peaceful quiet, Amanda periodically asking a question or making a snarky comment. When Bellicus confessed his love to Shalei, Garrus could hear a quiet sniffling from Amanda’s side of the couch. He simply handed her the box of tissues Solana had bought yesterday, which she took with a strangled, “Thanks.”

The vid ended with the sweeping credits theme, the third-best song on the soundtrack, in Garrus’s opinion. He turned to Amanda and asked, “Well?”

Amanda’s whole face was red and puffy; Garrus’s heart stopped. Wasn’t that a sign of an allergic reaction in humans? Had she grabbed the wrong chirality of Blast-Oh’s?

She managed, “I-it was s-so good…” before bursting into tears.

“Are you okay?” Garrus demanded. “Do you need something? Medicine, o-or…”

Amanda laughed despite the tears. “Have you not seen a human cry?”

“No?” Garrus half-asked.

“My face gets red. I’m not dying. Don’t worry,” Amanda laughed. “It was just so good…I don’t know the last time I saw a vid that good.”

Garrus smirked before leaning a little closer and asking in a whisper, “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure?” Amanda asked, wiping tears from her eyes.

“It’s my favorite vid. I know all the words,” Garrus confessed.

Amanda looked like she was about to laugh for a moment before smiling. “I really like it, too. It’s one of my favorites now.”

“What’s your favorite vid?” Garrus asked. “We can watch that with lunch.”

Amanda’s smiled broadened and Garrus’s heart skipped a beat. She blushed, hiding her face behind her messy hair, before mumbling, “Well…there’s an old human vid a little like the one we just watched that I kind of like.”

Garrus’s mandibles spread in a broad smile – she didn’t want to admit she _also_ loved a romance vid. He said casually, “Well, let’s watch it. Worst comes to worst, I can make fun of it.”

Amanda laughed, embarrassed. “It’s called the Princess Bride. You can find it while I start lunch.”

Garrus watched her quickly slip off the couch and into the kitchen, still smiling. She was beautiful, inside and out. He was starting to actually care about her.

Maybe this whole marriage thing hadn’t been a bad idea after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of the chapter is NSFW: fair warning!

“Morning, sunshine,” Amanda greeted Garrus the next day, a tray of food in her hands.

“Whozer?” Garrus mumbled sleepily, turning over on the couch.

“Your wife, idiot. Who else would it be?” Amanda laughed. She set the tray down on the coffee table. “Breakfast is served.”

Garrus turned back towards Amanda, blinking blearily at her. “You…made me breakfast?”

“I’m not dealing with that many dirty dishes again, after yesterday. So yes, I made you breakfast,” Amanda replied.

The turian sat up, still obviously confused, and pulled the tray onto his lap. Amanda went on, confidence faltering, “There’s…cibum and scrambled ovi and some juice, and…”

“I love it,” Garrus replied, as if he knew what Amanda was about to say next. “Thank you…sweetheart.”

Amanda blushed, surprised at how the term of endearment didn’t sound sarcastic – and at how she was starting to enjoy hearing it in Garrus’s deep, rumbling voice.

He dug into his breakfast with gusto, while Amanda awkwardly stood there, not quite sure what to do with herself. She’d already eaten, and it seemed rude to just leave Garrus by himself.

Eventually he seemed to catch onto this, because he paused his inhalation of his food long enough to say, “Would you like to see Arcanum today?”

“Can we?” Amanda asked, surprised. She went on sarcastically, “I thought we were still on our romantic escapades during our honeymoon.”

“Adrien told me we had to stay here for a month. It’s been a month. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get out and see a little sunshine,” Garrus replied.

Amanda felt her face split in two with a giant grin. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d love that.”

“Maybe we can get you some real clothes while we’re out and about,” Garrus said, finishing off his last bite of breakfast. “There’s an asari shop downtown, and they look…similar enough to you.”

“I’d like that,” Amanda agreed, looking down at her outfit. She was still wearing Garrus’s clothes, which were cavernous on her and hung off her. “Anything is better than this.”

Garrus laughed. “I’ll get dressed and we can go.”

 

A few minutes later they left Garrus’s apartment on the outskirts of the main downtown area, heading for the marketplace. It was a short walk, but it both awed and terrified Amanda.

She hadn’t been around this many turians since the war, and she wasn’t entirely convinced they wanted her here. Everywhere she looked was a potential enemy, a hostile. She was on high alert, her heart pounding, thoughts racing. Maybe they should’ve just stayed home…

Garrus seemed to sense this, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right? Do you want to go home?”

Amanda hesitated before shaking her head. “No. I need to learn how to live here. I’ll…be all right.”

“Take my hand,” Garrus offered softly, holding out his massive three-fingered hand to her. “I’ll protect you.”

Even a week ago, Amanda would have laughed in his face – he had tried to rape her, and now he was claiming to want to protect her? But now…

Instead of her would-be rapist, she saw Garrus, the man who had cooked with her, watched movies with her…bought a gun for her, all without hurting her. All because, as Solana had promised, he did have a kind heart…under all the spikes and plates. Maybe.

So Amanda nodded, awkwardly wrapping her five fingers around his three, and on they walked.

Somehow, Garrus’s familiar presence and the warmth of his scaly hand gave her comfort, her heart gradually slowing and the red alert vanishing from her mind. She still shied from the other turians – particularly the males – that were out and about, but she no longer felt as vulnerable.

He lead the way to a shop called “Thessia Threads,” opening the door for Amanda and ushering her inside.

A voice said, “Oh, hello. Welcome to Thessia Threads.”

Amanda stared at the speaker in awe. She looked very human, aside from her Medusa-like hair tentacles and the distinct blue hue of her skin. Amanda managed, “Um?”

The woman looked moderately offended, so Garrus stepped in. “My wife is new to the planet. Never seen an asari before – please forgive her. Do you think any of your stock will fit her?”

The asari looked Amanda up and down and finally said, “I can’t tell, with the ridiculous outfit she’s in. Come with me, human, and we’ll find something that’ll fit.”

She held out a hand, which Amanda took, and led the woman deeper into the store while Garrus waited awkwardly in the lobby, humming along to the piped-in music.

 

It was a disaster. Amanda returned almost two hours later, face red with aggravation and Garrus’s old clothes still wrapped around her thin frame.

“No luck?” Garrus asked, wilting. If they couldn’t find any clothes for her here, they weren’t going to find them on Palaven.

“Why the fuck do asari only wear dresses?” Amanda demanded, gesturing angrily. “Do I look like the kind to wear dresses?”

“Your…er, wedding dress was nice,” Garrus managed lamely.

“Shouldn’t have torn it to shreds then,” Amanda scowled. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Go where, precisely?” Garrus asked in amusement as she grabbed his hand and let them outside. “That’s the only asari clothing store on Palaven.”

“Then take me to a turian one,” Amanda said.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but turian clothes don’t fit you. At all. You’re a little too…small,” Garrus said, chuckling.

“I can make it work,” Amanda insisted. “Solana’s not… _that_ …much bigger than me. I’m sure I could find something made for a female turian that will fit me.”

Garrus sighed. Amanda was as headstrong and obstinate as his sister. “Fine. Solana’s favorite store is just down the street.”

He lead the way to the store, explaining the situation yet again to the clerk, who looked puzzled at what a human was doing in her shop.

Amanda once again went back with the clerk and came back an hour later…still in Garrus’s clothes. He moaned in frustration.

“It took some doing, but…we found something that’ll work,” Amanda said, seeing his annoyance. “I’ll show you when we get home.”

Garrus’s excitement lasted until he saw the total. He raised a browplate, ready to argue with Amanda, but she simply pulled the credit chit from Garrus’s hand and handed it to the clerk with a big smile.

The smile sold him on it. He’d do anything to see that strange human expression.

They left hand-in-hand again, the bag of clothes swinging in Amanda’s free hand as they headed further into downtown. Amanda asked, “Well, we have my clothes. Do you need anything while we’re out?”

“I want to stop at the Kassa Fabrication outlet. There should be some new rifle mods in, and the ol’ girl is getting pretty bored without having any upgrades or action,” Garrus replied.

“You talking about me, or your rifle?” Amanda teased. Garrus laughed.

“You make me sick,” a new voice said, startling the pair.

A group of male turians was walking towards them, anger clear in their expressions and their subvocals. One of them, a hulking giant with red colony marks, gestured rudely at Amanda, saying, “Your kind doesn’t belong on Palaven.”

“Believe me, I’d rather not be here,” Amanda shot back.

“Then go back to your filthy planet!” a second turian, this one with green marks, hissed.

“Don’t you think I would if I could?” Amanda scowled, crossing her arms. “If I recall it’s _your_ people who created this ridiculous treaty idea in the first place!”

The red turian loomed over her, growling menacingly. “I don’t like your tone, human.”

“And I don’t like yours,” Amanda spat back. “I’m not hurting you. Fuck off and leave me alone.”

The green one bared his teeth. “You’re a fucking human. You’re _nobody_ in the Hierarchy. The fuck do you think you are, talking to someone of higher status like that?”

“She’s not nobody,” Garrus cut in, coming to stand between Amanda and the group. He was even taller than the red one, glaring down at him. “She’s my wife.”

“Oh, the human fucker speaks!” a third turian, with orange marks, laughed. “Just because your mommy and daddy are big names doesn’t mean you’re worth the dirt on my boots.”

“Their status is my status,” Garrus growled back. “I outrank you, and so does she.”

“She’s not worth the ground she stands on,” the green one hissed, shoving Amanda to the ground. The orange one lunged for Garrus, who let out a cry as talons raked down his cheek.

Amanda let out a snarl of rage, biotics flaring to life and flinging the three turians backwards. She leapt to her feet, roaring, “Do _not_ touch me or my husband again, you fucking skullfaces!”

The turians turned and ran, and the small crowd that had watched the dispute similarly dispersed. Amanda helped Garrus back to his feet and said, “C’mon, let’s get home. I think I’ve seen enough of Arcanum today.”

“Yeah…me too,” Garrus agreed.

 

Amanda called the family doctor to look at Garrus’s injury before disappearing into her room to change into her new clothes.

The doctor had just left when Amanda came back into the living room, asking almost shyly, “Well…what do you think?”

Garrus turned to look at her and felt all the blood rush to his groin.

Now, he had never considered himself attracted to humans. Asari hardly cut it for him – he much preferred turian women. But humans in particular were _revolting_.

Oh, but not Amanda. She was wearing a stylish green shirt that almost fit her, but the poor fit of the turian shirt on a human body made it that much more enticing. The collar of the shirt, far too big without a turian cowl to stretch over, had slipped down over Amanda’s shoulder, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of her delicate neck and collarbone.

Someday, Garrus decided in that moment, that ridiculously tempting area of skin would hold a bondmark – _his_ bondmark. What he wouldn’t do to take her right then and there, mark her as his forever.

Then his eyes drifted down to her waist, and he could feel his groin plates shifting at record speed. He’d always been a waist kind of guy, though he’d never noticed Amanda’s before.

The shirt, far too loose on her, had been cinched tight around her stomach with a thin belt, drawing his attention to those beautiful curves, her perfect, narrow waist.

Fuck.

She was beautiful.

How had he not seen that before?

Garrus managed, voice strangled, “I…er…need to shower. Right now. I…er…don’t want the scratches to get…infected. Right.”

Amanda looked baffled as Garrus half-waddled, half-ran past her to his bathroom, willing his erection to stay hidden until he was out of Amanda’s sight.

He shut the bathroom door behind him and locked it, panting. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Garrus was confident Amanda would never want to have sex with him, not after his wonderful idea to try to force the issue.

Until a few minutes ago, that hadn’t been an issue.

But now, oh _spirits_. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Her hair shone like rubies, her eyes like emeralds; her body was all soft curves and toned muscle and _fuck_ if her waist wasn’t the sexiest thing he could imagine. Fornax didn’t hold a candle to her.

Garrus groaned as his dick came free from its confines behind his plates, hard and desperate for release. He stripped off his clothing and turned on the shower, hoping some cold water would cool off this sudden lust for his now-beautiful wife.

It didn’t.

The cold water must have ran out – it was a scarce commodity on a planet as hot as Palaven – leaving Garrus soaked with hot water. He briefly imagined the warmth to be that of Amanda’s body and moaned again, his dick involuntarily twitching.

All he wanted was to be hilt-deep in her, to touch that silky-soft skin and hear her moan his name. Oh, he wanted to do all kinds of things to her – fuck her fast and hard, make sweet love to her…make her come undone in his arms.

He laughed despite himself. He was fantasizing over her like a fledgling over a girl out of his league. And, despite the fact he should feel revolted at wanting to bed a human, all he could think of was _Amanda_ , her dry humor and sparkling smile, and…

Garrus couldn’t handle it a second longer. He took himself in hand, lazily stroking his cock. Even that wasn’t enough, though – every time his thoughts returned to his wife, he felt himself stroking harder and faster, until he was fucking himself with his own hand.

He leaned against the wall for support, gasping and panting. Ohhh, fuck. If he didn’t get some release soon, he was pretty sure he was going to die.

But while this had been enough, in the past, it wasn’t cutting it now. What had changed?

The little human in the other room, no doubt wondering what the hell was going on with him.

“Ohh,” Garrus groaned aloud, moving his hand even faster. He blurted out, unable to help it, “Ohh, Amanda…please…”

He was completely and utterly fucked, if he was moaning her name as he jerked off. Even just the sound of her name made heat pool in his groin, made him slip that much closer to the edge. What he had thought was love for Vetra came nowhere close to this.

“Amanda,” Garrus moaned again, furiously pumping his hand. “Ohhhh, spirits…”

He closed his eyes, imagination replacing his hand with Amanda’s body, and immediately, he was a goner.

“Amanda!” he cried as he came in hard bursts against the shower wall.

He’d have to clean that up later, but for now, he slid bonelessly down against the wall, sitting on the shower floor and mulling over everything he’d just learned.

Despite the war and everything, he now knew Amanda Shepard was the most beautiful thing in the galaxy, and the new shining center of his universe.

Even just the sound of her name was enough to help him along, and imagining making love to her made him come harder than he had in a long time.

Everything pointed to one conclusion.

He was falling in love with her.


	7. Chapter 7

Garrus’s injury must have been worse than he let on, Amanda mused, since the doctor recommended he stay home for a few days to recover.

That, or the doctor knew he was likely to pick a fight with the next turian who insulted her, which was likely to be the next turian they saw.

She understood why he’d done what he did – they _were_ growing closer, and he felt a societal-bred duty to protect his wife. Not that she really needed protecting, Amanda chuckled, as _she_ had been the one to end the fight.

But what she didn’t understand was his bizarre behavior afterwards. Was he in shock? Delirious? There had to be _some_ reason that he’d run from her presence and avoided her for the few days since.

Men were strange, no matter what species they were, apparently.

It had been almost a week, though, and despite it all, she was starting to miss his constant presence at her side. She didn’t have Solana’s omni-tool contact info and she was too far from Earth, so she didn’t even have anyone to talk to without Garrus.

The longer she was left alone with her thoughts, though, the angrier she got. Why was Garrus hiding? Was he thinking of what the turians had said? Was he ashamed of her?

Worse, was he ashamed of himself? _She_ had ended the confrontation, after all. Did he see himself as weak because of it?

No, screw that. She was going to end his self-pity right now.

She went and knocked on the bedroom door Garrus had been lurking behind, calling, “Garrus? I hope you’re decent, because I’m coming in.”

Amanda heard a shout of protest as she opened the door, which she ignored. Garrus was still in bed, reading a datapad, covers pulled up quickly over his lap.

She simply raised an eyebrow. “Should’ve said you weren’t decent.”

“I _did_ , but you ignored me,” Garrus scowled.

“Well, you’ve been ignoring me for a week, so fair’s fair,” Amanda snapped right back.

“I have not!” Garrus protested childishly.

“Your people have a strange way of not ignoring people, then,” Amanda snorted. “On Earth, hiding from someone for a week is generally considered ignoring them.”

“I have not been hiding,” Garrus insisted weakly.

Amanda raised her other eyebrow skeptically. “Oh, really? Then tell me, what exactly _have_ you been doing in here?”

“Reading,” Garrus said innocently, holding up the datapad.

“Riiiight,” Amanda nodded slowly. “So, when are you going to admit you’re ashamed of what happened?”

“What?” Garrus asked, surprised.

“With the other turians,” Amanda said, blood starting to boil at Garrus’s feigned innocence. “Either you’re ashamed of me because I’m human, or you’re ashamed I was the one to end the fight. Which one is it?”

“Wha…Amanda, how could you say that?” Garrus demanded. “I’m not ashamed of you at all. It’s…not that.”

“Then what is it?” Amanda snapped. “That I finished the fight? That you got your ass beat?”

“I’m not proud of getting beaten, no!” Garrus’s voice was growing angrier.

“So you’ve just been hiding like a goddamn coward for a week?” Amanda hissed. “I thought we were past this bullshit! I thought we were friends!”

“Friends?” Garrus demanded. “That’s what you think we are?”

Amanda felt part of her heart break. Despite everything they’d done together in such a short period of time – the cooking, the vids, the shopping…the fight – he still considered her an enemy. She had been proud of herself for making such great strides towards forgiving her attacker, but he…hadn’t done anything. She cried, voice breaking with unwanted tears, “I sure fucking thought so!”

“That’s all we are to you?” Garrus growled. Before Amanda could say anything, he went on, “Amanda, I care about you. I…want you. I mean, spirits, I…just thinking about you…it’s enough for me to…”

Amanda’s eyes widened. Was…he saying what she thought he was saying?

Garrus’s beady eyes similarly widened and he sighed, “Oh. Fuck.”

“I…” Amanda stammered. She turned and all but ran out of the room, the door swishing shut behind her.

Garrus didn’t follow, probably too busy kicking himself for his bad case of foot-in-mouth syndrome.

She sat down heavily on the couch, staring at the blank vidscreen. Had that really just happened?

More importantly, had Garrus really said what she thought he was saying? He _wanted_ her? He…cared about her?

He had more than likely gotten off thinking of her.

Part of her was revolted at the thought.

Part of her, though, was almost flattered and pleased. Her husband – even if it was by force, not choice – cared about her, was attracted to her. Hell, there weren’t a lot of humans she could say that about. It warmed her heart, in a strange way, to know that she meant that much to Garrus.

It was odd, though. Only a few weeks prior, he had nearly raped her. Why did she care about his feelings – why did she want to be loved by her attacker?

Then again, she hardly saw him as that anymore. They had bonded over the stupid things they’d found in his apartment, over cooking and vids and cards and vidcalls with Solana. They were friends now, and maybe they were quickly becoming something more.

There was the swish of a door opening and Garrus walked into the living room, now fully clothed. He started, “Look, Amanda, I…”

She raised a hand to stop him. “Whatever you’re going to say, I don’t need to hear it.”

“Right,” Garrus sighed, turning to head back to his room. “I’ll just…go.”

“No, wait,” Amanda shook her head – he’d wildly misinterpreted her meaning. “You were going to apologize for what you said, weren’t you?”

Garrus nodded, so she went on, “You don’t need to be sorry for how you feel. Your feelings, whatever they are, are just as valid as mine.”

“I don’t deserve to care about you,” Garrus said, flanging voice tight. “I tried to rape you. I lost any right to care about you when I hurt you.”

“I…won’t deny that the wound is still there, and it’s still pretty raw,” Amanda conceded. “But…we’re moving past that. I know you regret what you did, and that helps. We’ll get there.”

Garrus relaxed visibly. Amanda couldn’t help but go on, smirking a little, “So, tell me. Have you really jerked it to the thought of me?”

Garrus’s entire face blushed cobalt. He stammered, “I…um…that wasn’t exactly what I was trying to say…”

“So you have,” Amanda laughed. Garrus sputtered a protest for a few more seconds before mumbling something inaudible. She laughed again and said, “Well, I’ll only hold that over your head for…the rest of our lives.”

“Look, let’s try this confession thing again,” Garrus sighed. “I care about you. I would…like to be more than friends. I like this whole casual hanging out, but…I’d like something more. Whenever you’re ready for it.”

Amanda’s smirk only grew. “So you’re still telling me you want me.”

Garrus growled, frustrated. “If you weren’t so small and fragile I’d propose a sparring or a shooting match to…teach you a lesson.”

“Let’s go. I saw an Armax Arena when we were downtown,” Amanda challenged. “They make weapons, don’t they?”

“I…what?” Garrus asked, surprised.

“You want to spar? Let’s,” Amanda replied. “I’ll kick your ass.”

Garrus laughed, a deep, rumbling sound that sent shivers down Amanda’s spine. “You’re awfully cocky for someone so small and squishy.”

“It’s not being cocky if I can back it up,” Amanda smiled. “I’ll grab my pistol. We’re settling this in the arena.”

 

They walked into the arena only a few minutes later, Garrus with his Mantis and Amanda with her Phalanx in hand. The receptionist, to her credit, merely blinked at seeing two armed customers walk in before saying warmly, “Welcome to the Palavenian Armax Arena. What can I interest you in today?”

“We’d like a sparring room, or a shooting range if that’s not available,” Garrus replied

The receptionist frowned. “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but our individual-based rooms are closed for maintenance today. Since there’s two of you, though, could I interest you in a team-based simulation room?”

Garrus glanced at Amanda, who shrugged. He turned back to the receptionist and said, “Sure, what the hell. I can still teach her a lesson in a team sim.”

The receptionist raised a browplate but otherwise didn’t comment on Garrus’s odd statement, pulling up a screen. She said, “You have a choice of your simulated enemy and arena. Which would you prefer?”

Again, Amanda shrugged noncommittally, so Garrus chose for them. The receptionist went on, locking in their choices, “The last choice is difficulty level. We offer Foot Soldier, Elite, and Super Elite enemies.”

“Let’s start with…” Garrus began.

“Super Elite,” Amanda cut him off. “We both survived the war. I think we can handle a sim.”

The receptionist hesitated, saying, “Are you sure? It’s quite…challenging.”

“I’m sure,” Amanda nodded. “Let’s get this party started.”

She ignored Garrus’s protests over the difficulty, following the receptionist towards their sim room.

It was a massive arena, Amanda marveled as they walked inside. Garrus saw her wonder and said, “These rooms are used in the first steps of turian basic training. They’re designed for a much larger squad than two. So is the difficulty.”

“We’ll be fine,” Amanda waved him off. “What’s our enemy, anyway? Humans?”

“Geth. Nasty AIs the quarians invented,” Garrus replied. “Kicked them off their own planet.”

“I can handle killing a bunch of simulated robots,” Amanda grinned. “Let’s do this.”

“SIMULATION START,” a mechanical voice boomed.

Immediately, they were swarmed with simulated geth. Amanda took out a swath of them with a biotic shockwave, while Garrus sniped some from their elevated position.

She called to him, “Better not lose track of how many you’re killing! Winner gets…something!”

Garrus laughed. “I’m already at two dozen, _dear_ , so don’t get your hopes up.”

This continued a long while until finally the waves of enemies ceased. Amanda crowed victoriously, “Three hundred and seventy-seven! Take that!”

“Three hundred and seventy-seven,” Garrus agreed, earning a scowl from Amanda. He paused. “That’s odd. Usually the room tells you when the simulation is over.”

There was a deafening whirring noise behind them. The pair slowly turned, hearts dropping to their toes, and they saw the largest robot Amanda had ever seen. She whispered, “What. The _fuck_. Is that?”

“Oh good,” Garrus sighed. “A Geth Armature. I told you we should have picked an easier difficulty.”

_BWOOOOOOOOOOOM_.

The pair ducked to avoid the Armature’s laser, which rocketed overhead. Amanda cried, “I’ll distract it! You kill it!”

“Amanda, wait!” Garrus called after her, but she was already gone.

“Fuck!” he hissed, unhappy. She didn’t even know the first thing about killing geth, the way he had learned from his friend Tali when she was on her pilgrimage. This was not going to end the way she wanted, and it was going to be a catastrophic waste of his credits.

Amanda ducked and weaved, distracting the Armature, while Garrus bit away at its shields with concussive shots.

Just as the shields fell on the Armature, it hit Garrus with a stray shot, causing him to fall backwards and give a shout of pain.

“Garrus!” Amanda cried. She started to run towards him, but the Armature rained bullets down on her, so she scrambled for cover.

“I’m fine! Just get it! It’s weak!” Garrus called back.

Amanda stood out of cover, let out a battle cry, and lifted the Armature into the air with her biotics before slamming it to the ground.

It sparked and whirred feebly before bursting into thousands of pieces.

Garrus peeked out of his cover at the sparking remains, asking, “How…did you…do that?”

“Three hundred and seventy-eight,” Amanda laughed, brushing dust off her hands. “You lose, Vakarian.”

“Well-fought,” Garrus conceded, walking down to meet her.

She threw her arms around his waist. “Thanks for having my six there, Garrus. We make a good team.”

“That we do,” Garrus agreed with a deep chuckle.

“So…dinner?” Amanda asked, looking up at him with a grin.

“My treat,” Garrus said, ruffling her hair affectionately. “To the winner go the spoils.”

Amanda laughed, hugging him tighter. She could get used to this, this playful banter, this teamwork.

This affection. 

She hadn’t been shown a lot of affection in her life, but with Garrus, she’d finally found it. And she sure wasn’t going to give it up without a fight.


	8. Chapter 8

Garrus let Amanda choose the restaurant for dinner.

Being a gracious victor, Amanda let him choose her outfit.

He picked a dress Solana had bought her as a wedding gift, a pretty blue and gray thing from Thessia Threads. Amanda hated dresses – despised them, even – but she was in a good mood from her victory, so she put it on.

She, in turn, picked a newly-opened sushi restaurant. The turians had discovered sushi with the conclusion of the war, and according to Garrus, they’d become _obsessed_.

Garrus admitted he wasn’t much a fan of seafood, but told her he was willing to try the restaurant if she wanted sushi so badly.

And damn, did she want sushi.

The maître d’ gave them a bizarre look when they walked into the restaurant, arm in arm. Garrus ignored the look, saying simply, “I have a reservation for Vakarian.”

“O-oh!” the maître d’ said, surprised. “Mr. Vakarian, what a pleasure to have someone of your status in our humble establishment.”

The maître d’ went on timidly, “…and the human?”

“My wife?” Garrus growled. “What about her?”

The smaller turian went sheet-white – Amanda didn’t realize turians even could go pale. He stammered, “R-right. My apologies. Right this way, sir, madam.”

The maître d’ grabbed a pair of menus and lead them to their table, chivalrously pulling the chair out for Amanda before scurrying away as fast as he could.

Amanda raised an eyebrow at Garrus as she picked up her menu. “Did you really have to scare him like that?”

“I don’t like turians disrespecting you,” Garrus grumbled. “We’re together for the rest of our lives. They’d best get used to a human in Arcanum.”

_Ping_.

Garrus sighed. “Must’ve forgotten to mute my omni-tool, sorry.”

“No worries,” Amanda smiled. “You can check it if you need to.”

“This is our first date. I’m not checking my messages like some inconsiderate jackass,” Garrus waved her off.

_Ping. Ping._

“Are you sure?” Amanda asked, raising an eyebrow.

_Ping._

“This is humiliating,” Garrus sighed. “No, I’m not checking it.”

_Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping._

“Just check your damn messages,” Amanda scowled.

Garrus sighed again, pulling up his omni-tool. He scanned the messages and his blood ran cold.

Amanda saw the fear in his eyes, clearly, because she demanded, “What’s wrong?”

“I…my mother,” Garrus managed.

“What’s wrong with her?” Amanda asked gently, seeing how unnerved he looked.

“She…wandered off,” Garrus mumbled, still reading the messages as though his life depended on it.

Amanda blinked. “What?”

Garrus sighed and rubbed his face. “My mother has Corpalis Syndrome. It causes neural decay…she’s not quite all the way here anymore. We have a nurse keeping an eye on her so she doesn’t do this, but…somehow she must have wandered off anyway...”

“Let’s go find her,” Amanda said immediately.

“But…our date,” Garrus replied weakly.

“Sushi can wait. Your mom is more important,” Amanda shook her head, standing up. “C’mon, let’s go.”

 

They had just pulled up to the Vakarians’ mansion when Garrus’s omni-tool pinged again. He read the message aloud, voice full of relief.

“ _We found Mom. She’s safe and sound back home. Sol._ ”

“Oh, thank god,” Amanda said, relieved. She paused. “You know, I’ve never really properly met your parents. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Garrus nodded. “Let’s give them a little time to calm down, though. We can make some dinner while the chaos calms down.”

Amanda followed him inside the sprawling estate, looking around in awe. Their mansion was massive, all shining marble (or the turian equivalent of it) and vaulted architecture. She breathed, “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, well…growing up here was…interesting,” Garrus shrugged. “When your home is practically a museum, it’s hard to feel at home.”

Garrus lead the way to the practically industrial-sized kitchen, where a couple of servants were scurrying around making dinner. One of them saw Garrus and beamed. “Mr. Garrus! It’s been a while!”

“It has, Sid. Good to see you, kid,” Garrus said, clasping the younger turian’s hand tight. “Can you spare the space so my wife and I can make our dinner? It got…interrupted.”

“Yes, with Miss Luciana’s…adventure…it’s been a stressful few hours,” Sid nodded. “We’ll make portions of dinner for you. Go be with your family.”

“I…er,” Amanda cut in. “…can’t eat that.”

“Miss Solana was always hopeful that you would come visit. There’s levo food in the fridge. I’ll make something for you personally,” Sid assured her.

“Thank you,” Garrus smiled. “You’re the best, Sid.”

Amanda started to protest, wanting to make her own dinner, but Garrus gently dragged her out of the kitchen. He lead her upstairs, saying, “Mom’s rooms are up here. Are…are you sure you’re ready to meet her?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Amanda asked, surprised. “I met her once, at our wedding.”

“She’s gotten worse since then. Doesn’t always recognize us…tries to wander off…” Garrus’s voice was quiet and sad. “I don’t know how much longer until she’s completely gone.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” Amanda asked gently. “You’ve been suffering so much on your own. I could’ve helped.”

“Amanda, I’ve hurt you enough. I didn’t want to add this to your burden,” Garrus shook his head. “Th-thank you, though. It…means a lot.”

“I want to meet her,” Amanda said. “She’s the only mother I have any more. I want to know her while I can.”

Garrus nodded, leading her to a beautifully carved door. He knocked, called, “Mom? It’s Garrus,” and walked in, Amanda right behind.

The room was large and lavish, in stark contrast to the small, frail turian in the huge bed. Solana was sitting by her bedside and a large male turian – Garrus’s father, Amanda presumed – was standing beside her.

“Garrus!” Solana exclaimed, running over to him. “Oh, thank the spirits, you got my messages. Mom’s having a…bad day.”

“Can she recognize us today?” Garrus asked. Solana shook her head, staring at the floor.

“The doctor doesn’t think she has much longer before the neural decay has decimated what’s left,” Garrus’s father said sadly.

Amanda let Garrus and Solana talk quietly, instead walking over to Luciana’s bedside. She sat in the chair Solana had been in, taking the older woman’s hand. Luciana turned to look at her, mandibles flaring in a large smile.

“My daughter,” she said warmly.

Garrus’s father sighed. “My love, this is…”

“Amanda,” Luciana finished. “My daughter.”

The three turians turned to stare at her. Solana managed, “Mom?”

“Yes, you married my dear Garrus,” Luciana said, gray eyes firmly focused on Amanda. “I remember. You looked so beautiful.”

“Th-thank you,” Amanda managed, barely holding back tears. “I remember you that day, too. You wept.”

“Yes. Garrus had been so alone for so long, and for him to finally find a bondmate worthy of him…I was happy,” Luciana replied with a smile.

“Mom…we’re not…” Garrus stammered weakly.

Luciana turned to look at Garrus, and her face went blank. She asked, “Amanda, who is this handsome man? A friend?”

Amanda couldn’t do it. She slipped her hand out from between Luciana’s and ran from the room, biting down hard on her lip to suppress her tears.

As she turned down a hallway, any hallway, seeking a place to hide, she heard Garrus excuse himself and follow.

She didn’t want him to follow. She wanted to be alone. She _needed_ to be alone.

Amanda ran into what looked like a scarce-used bedroom, slamming the door behind her and running to hide on the far side of the bed, praying Garrus couldn’t find her.

He did, only moments later. As she curled up and sobbed, Garrus came into the room and ran to her side. “Amanda? What’s wrong?”

“Y-your mom,” Amanda sobbed.

“I know. It’s hard to see her like that,” Garrus nodded, putting a gentle hand on Amanda’s shoulder.

“N-no. Not that,” Amanda shook her head, sending sparkling tears flying.

“What, then?” Garrus pressed.

Amanda finally looked up at him, green eyes shining. “M-my mom. On Earth. She died from Alzheimer’s Disease.”

Garrus blinked. “I’m…not familiar with that.”

“Neural decay. Memory loss. Loss of motor function, mood shifts, depression…wandering off…sound familiar?” Amanda cried.

Garrus felt his heart drop. Amanda had already lost a mother to what sounded like the same disease, and she was quickly losing another. “I’m…so sorry.”

“Mom developed it really early. I was just a kid,” Amanda mumbled. “They developed a cure for it the year after she died.”

She paused, her tears stopping. “Wait. Garrus.”

“Yes?” Garrus asked.

“The humans…developed a cure for Alzheimer’s. Maybe…that can be adapted for Corpalis Syndrome?” Amanda said, suddenly excited.

Garrus stared at her, slack-jawed. Was she…really saying what he thought she was saying?

“I’ll call my old medic. Karin works at a big hospital on Earth now. She can probably pull some strings,” Amanda beamed. “I lost one mom to neural decay. I’m not losing another.”

Garrus pulled her into a tight hug, his subvocals singing with one clear message, one he was grateful Amanda couldn’t hear.

_I love you._


	9. Chapter 9

It was Amanda’s idea to stay at the Vakarian mansion for a while, to help ease the family burden of caring for Luciana.

Garrus simply agreed aloud, but his heart sang. He was lucky to have a wife as compassionate and kind as Amanda. He was luckier to love a woman like her.

Amanda spent most of her time at Luciana’s bedside, reading her the morning’s news or feeding her – the older woman’s hands shook too much for her to be able to feed herself anymore.

On Luciana’s lucid days, the two women exchanged stories about Garrus. Amanda left out the story of the wedding night, but reveled in mocking her husband to his mother, telling stories of cooking mishaps and her victory at Armax Arena. Luciana in particular loved to regale Amanda with tales of Garrus’s infanthood, how he cried like no other turian baby she’d ever known.

For his part, Garrus tried to cook his mother’s meals himself.

The longer they stayed, though, the fewer and father between the lucid days became.

 

It had been a particularly bad day, Garrus knew, when Amanda left Luciana’s room in tears, heading for her own room down the hall. He followed, bringing Amanda and his mother’s lunches with him.

Sobbing was audible through Amanda’s door, so he quietly knocked and asked, “Amanda?”

“Y-you can come in,” Amanda managed.

Garrus opened the door and found Amanda right where he expected: curled up in a ball between the edge of the bed and the far wall. He set the two lunches on the bed and sat down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into the embrace, still crying.

“Hard day?” Garrus asked gently.

Amanda nodded. “This is a lot like how Mom was before she died. It’s got me worried.”

“That they won’t find a cure in time?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah. Or that there’ll even be anything left to save once they do find one. It’s already been three weeks,” Amanda mumbled.

“They’ve got the best scientists in the galaxy working on it. I’m sure they’ll find something,” Garrus assured her. He paused and went on, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Amanda asked, surprised.

“For caring. For helping with Mom. It…means a lot. Especially after everything the Hierarchy has done to you and your people,” Garrus replied. “I…don’t even know how to say how much it means to me.”

Amanda smiled sadly. “It’s the least I could do for my friends…or my family.”

“Amanda, I…” Garrus stammered, then stopped. “I…I’m glad to have met you.”

“I could’ve done worse,” Amanda replied with a smile, gently entwining her hand and his. “A whole lot worse.”

Garrus laughed. “The ladies do think I’m pretty handsome.”

“I’m not sure I’d go that far. But it’s at least fun to kick your ass at training and games,” Amanda said. “And you’re surprisingly nice to cuddle.”

“Well, I’m always up for cuddling,” Garrus purred. The rumbling of his throat against her head made Amanda giggle. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

“Thanks, dear,” Amanda replied.

This time, the terms of endearment felt natural.

 

The next week, a visitor came during dinner.

He was a twitchy alien Amanda had never seen before; Garrus later would tell her he was a salarian, a species renowned for intelligence and scientific aptitude.

“Greetings,” the salarian said as he was shown into the dining room by a servant. Luciana was having a good day, so she was eating at the table with them. “Apologies for interrupting meal. Understand family bonds are important in turian culture.”

“Please, join us,” Garrus’s father, Castis, said, standing up to shake the salarian’s hand.

“No, no, work too important. Besides, prefer intravenous nutrient solution. My own design. Does not require stopping work to eat,” the salarian shook his head.

“Garrus, Sol, Amanda, this is Dr. Mordin Solus, the scientist Adrien recruited to lead the research into a cure for Corpalis,” Castis said. “Mordin, these are my children, Garrus and Solana, and Garrus’s wife, Amanda. You’ve already met Luciana.”

Mordin regarded Amanda curiously. “Yes. Heard about marriage arrangement. Much like salarian culture. Intriguing to have it adapted for interspecies relations. Reminds me: Need to speak to your son about levo-dextro incompatibility. May prevent awkwardness…and anaphylaxis.”

Castis coughed awkwardly. “Maybe not over dinner. Anyway, what brings you all the way to Palaven, Dr. Solus?”

“Wished to update you in person regarding research,” Mordin replied.

“How’s it coming along?” Solana demanded.

“Surprisingly well, considering humans’ grasp of scientific method not fully sound,” Mordin said. He paused. “Mean no offense, of course.”

“None taken,” Amanda said. “Go on.”

“The human cure will be adaptable for turian bodies, and eventually, for other species as well. Great scientific breakthrough. Will save countless lives,” Mordin said excitedly. He went on, more downcast, “However, there are…complications.”

“Complications?” Garrus pressed.

“Limited access to necessary materials. All work so far has been theoretical. Time for implementation. Plenty of access to Palavenian wildlife for initial stages, but…nothing to sequence a cure from. Human data on exact production of cure classified. Not enough time to have work declassified,” Mordin admitted.

“Why is it classified?” Amanda asked.

“Unknown. Likely because cure can be corrupted, based on extrapolations. Used to _cause_ dementia and other diseases,” Mordin said.

“What do you need to sequence a cure?” Solana asked.

“Human genetic material,” Mordin said. “From an untreated victim of disease. Unethical to postpone current victims’ treatment to obtain sufficient samples. Previous victims generally cremated or too decomposed for sufficient study.”

“I can fix that,” Amanda said quietly.

“What?” Castis asked. “Amanda, is this true?”

“My mother…Dad didn’t want her embalmed. We had her body cryogenically frozen instead, after she died. Preserves the body for longer. She only died a few years ago, so her body is still probably in good shape. If…if you want to exhume her, you may,” Amanda’s voice was thin and sad.

“We can’t ask that of you,” Solana shook her head. “To dig up your own mother…it’s not right.”

“My mother is gone,” Amanda insisted. “Nothing I can do will bring her back. But if I can help save your mother…it’ll be worth something. I’ll be all right.”

“Selflessness unusual from former bitter enemies,” Mordin said, intrigued. “Will need written permission to exhume the body.”

Amanda nodded. Mordin went on, “Sequencing the cure will take…approximately two months. Perhaps longer. Unable to accurately predict setbacks.”

“I’m not sure I have two months left,” Luciana sighed.

“Then it will be done sooner,” Mordin said simply. “Must be getting back to work. Time is of essence.”

Dinner was significantly more cheerful that night than it had been in months.

 

“You care for my brother, don’t you?”

The question, accompanied by Solana slamming Amanda’s door open, startled the woman. She was half-undressed as she got ready for bed, only wearing pants and a sports bra. Compared to Solana’s outfit and heavy plates, she felt positively naked.

“Um?” Amanda managed.

“You should tell him, then,” Solana said.

Amanda pulled a shirt on to give herself more time to think over her answer. “Yes, Garrus and I have become friends.”

“Not like that,” Solana shook her head. “You wouldn’t have offered something as painful as exhuming your mother for a friend.”

“You don’t know me, then,” Amanda scowled. “I’d do anything for my friends.”

“Then what would you do for someone you loved?” Solana asked.

Amanda was quiet. “I…wouldn’t know. No one’s ever loved me before, aside from my parents, and they’re dead.”

“My whole family loves you,” Solana said, hurt. “Mom especially.”

Amanda sighed. “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s just…nothing’s turned out as I expected.”

“You didn’t expect to love my brother, did you?” Solana asked, more gently this time.

“I…” Amanda began, then stopped. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. “…Sol, you can’t tell him.”

“You mean you haven’t?” Solana asked, shocked.

The tears came in full force now. “He hasn’t told me anything either. I don’t think…I don’t think he’ll ever love me. I know he was in love with another woman before we married. That’s all right. He treats me well.”

Solana was about to argue, about to tell Amanda everything her brother’s subvocals sang whenever he was around Amanda. How every breath he took seemed to be only for her, how she knew he’d protect Amanda with his life. Spirits, what had she heard over and over from Garrus’s subvocals since they’d come to stay at the mansion?

_My wife is beautiful and we are happy._

_Hurt her and die. I will let no harm come to her._

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

It took all the strength in her to say nothing, but Solana knew it was not her place to confess Garrus’s love to Amanda, or vice versa. No, if these two idiots wanted to pine over someone madly in love with them, she’d let them. They’d figure it out, sooner or later. She’d make sure of that.

“As long as you’re happy, Amanda,” Solana said instead.

“I am. He’s a wonderful friend and husband. I enjoy spending time with him, and with you. It’s more than I had on Earth,” Amanda replied.

Solana’s mandibles flared in a sad smile. “I’m happy to call you my sister.”

“I always wanted a sister,” Amanda laughed a little. “I’m just mad it took me so long to finally find one.” 

Solana crossed the room and embraced her. “The spirits grant us our wishes in strange ways. We are thankful to have you.”

Amanda smiled. Despite being light-years from Earth, she’d hadn’t felt as at home in a long time.

 

Mordin returned a month later, a smile plastered on his face as he intruded on lunch. “Excellent news!”

“Yes?” Castis demanded.

“Have successfully sequenced a cure for dextro-based organisms. Has proven effective on Palavenian wildlife, and we are ready to administer it to those suffering from Corpalis Syndrome,” Mordin replied.

Solana burst into tears.

“So…Mom’ll get better?” Garrus demanded.

“Yes. Even better news than anticipated – the cure can reverse some of the neural decay caused by syndrome. Not all, of course, too improbable, but much of it,” Mordin went on.

Castis had to sit down, knees weak. “Dr. Solus, you’ve saved my wife. We can’t thank you enough.”

“Thank Amanda. Without tissue samples from her mother’s body, we would not have developed cure this quickly,” Mordin replied. He looked around curiously. “Where is she?”

“Upstairs with Mom,” Solana said. “Garrus, go tell them the good news.”

Garrus nodded, excusing himself from the table and rushing upstairs.

He burst into his mother’s room, crying, “Amanda, honey, they did it! They found a cure!”

A smile split Amanda’s face in half. “I knew they would.”

Garrus ran to her, picking her up and swinging her around. They both laughed. “You’re amazing, Amanda. They couldn’t have done any of this without you. We owe Mom’s life to you.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Amanda replied, hugging Garrus tight. “For my family.”

“C’mon, I want you to talk to Dr. Solus,” Garrus insisted, starting to drag Amanda out of the room.

She pulled her arm from his grasp, going back to Luciana’s bedside and tucking the sleeping woman in more firmly. “There. She was getting cold. Now let’s go.”

Garrus had stopped at the doorframe, almost as though he was frozen, his hands up. Amanda asked, “Garrus? What’s going on?”

She took a few nervous steps forward, coming to Garrus’s side. From under Garrus’s arm, all she could see was armor and weapons.

Then one of the sets of armor moved and she saw a face. The man gasped, “Commander?”

Amanda’s world spun as she recognized the soldier before her, the one pointing a pistol at her husband. “Alenko?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: I edited a few of the final paragraphs to make my ideas clearer and come across better. Sorry for those of you who read it before it changed!

“Alenko, what the fuck are you doing here?” Amanda demanded, ducking under Garrus’s arm and walking over to the man.

“Commander…you’re alive?” Kaidan asked.

“Of course I’m alive!” Amanda replied, baffled.

Kaidan lowered his gun, tightly hugging her. “I thought they killed you.”

“The whole point of me being on Palaven is to promote _peace_ ,” Amanda said crossly. “I’m fine.”

“What have they done to you?” Kaidan demanded, releasing Amanda and looking her up and down for injuries.

“Nothing,” Amanda lied – telling Kaidan about Garrus’s wedding night attack was the last thing they needed right now. “They’ve been good to me, Alenko.”

“Earth’ll be even better to you – you’re a hero. C’mon, let’s get you out of here before the military shows up,” Kaidan said.

Amanda regarded him curiously, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re here to get you home. Let’s go,” Kaidan insisted, offering his free hand to Amanda.

“I don’t…” Amanda rubbed her temples. “Kaidan, I _am_ home. This is where I belong.”

“As a prisoner?” he demanded. “You deserve better than this, Commander.”

“I’m not a prisoner,” Amanda shook her head. “Not anymore. This family… _my_ family…they care about me. I’m not just going to leave them.”

“What about your friends on Earth that care about you?” Kaidan pressed. “We’ve been worried sick.”

“And now you don’t have to worry anymore. I’m happy here. I’m well-cared for. I’m safe. The Vakarians won’t let anything happen to me,” Amanda insisted. “Alenko, please put the gun down.”

“Not until you come with us,” Kaidan shook his head. “The turians might be good to you now, but what if something happens? You’ll be dead!”

“Something like an armed rebellion, maybe?” Garrus growled at Kaidan.

“You’re not helping,” Amanda snapped at him. She turned back to Kaidan. “Look, Alenko, I know the transition to peace from the war hasn’t been easy. For anybody. But we can’t start the war back up. Not like this. Not over me.”

Kaidan took a deep breath. “Ma’am, the peace treaty was a mistake. We let the turians all but enslave us. We’re going to make that right.”

“By more pointless bloodshed?” Amanda demanded. “No. Don’t do this.”

“Too late, Commander,” Kaidan shook his head.

“Everything I’ve been through is going to be in vain if you go through with this insurrection,” Amanda pleaded.

This triggered something in Kaidan; his eyes grew cold. “What happened? What have they done to you?”

“Nothing, that’s not what I meant,” Amanda said desperately. There was barely-controlled bloodlust and rage in Kaidan’s eyes. “Kaidan…”

“What did you do to her?” Kaidan demanded of Garrus. “You hurt her!”

“I…” Garrus stammered, caught off-guard.

Kaidan raised his pistol as if to fire. At this range and without any shields or armor, Amanda knew that the shot would kill Garrus instantly. Her heart jumped into her throat as she put herself between the two men.

“Commander,” Kaidan said coldly. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through with him. But I’m going to put an end to this, and we’re going to get you back to Earth.”

“Please don’t do this,” Amanda managed, voice strained. “Kaidan, you’re a good man. You’re not a murderer.”

“ _He_ is. And God knows what else,” Kaidan spat. “I’ll be doing you a favor. Please move.”

“There’s still time for you to get away,” Amanda pleaded. “I’m not worth you risking getting caught. Please, just go. Go back to Earth. It’ll be harder for the Hierarchy to find you there. I don’t want you in trouble over this.”

“We aren’t leaving without you,” Kaidan shook his head. “Commander, please, come on. We don’t have a lot of time before the Hierarchy figures out something’s wrong.”

“They probably already have,” Garrus said. “Listen to Amanda. Go home. We’ll take good care of her here.”

“You don’t deserve to say her name,” Kaidan growled.

Amanda took advantage of his momentary focus on Garrus to lunge forward, grabbing the pistol from his hands and stepping backwards. The look of betrayal on his face killed her, but she said softly, “Kaidan, go. I’ll be all right.”

He reluctantly turned to leave, but the sound of footsteps on the stairs made them all pause. A group of heavily armored and armed turians were running towards them, yelling, “Freeze! Hands up!”

“Fuck,” Amanda mumbled. Pulling strings to get them out of this mess wouldn’t be easy.

Kaidan and his compatriots put their hands up in surrender, but the lead soldier yelled, “ _I said hands up!_ ”

Confused, they all looked around – all the would-be rebels had obeyed. The turian shoved one of Kaidan’s men to the side, coming to loom over Amanda. “I said _hands up,_ human!”

“Wait a second,” Garrus started to say, realization hitting him hard.

The soldier ripped the pistol from Amanda’s hands, tossing it to the floor and pinning her against the wall. “You’re under arrest, human, you and all your little cronies. How _dare_ you try to hurt the Vakarian family?”

“Wait!” Garrus protested.

The soldier ignored him, slapping cuffs on Amanda and hauling her off. The other turians followed, leading Kaidan and his men along.

The world spun for Garrus; he had to lean against the doorframe for support. Amanda had been mistaken for a rebel, one who defied orders to surrender. He might be about to lose her forever.

 

“I’m telling you, I’m not a rebel!” Amanda insisted. The police officers hadn’t believed her on that regard for almost two hours now, or the entire day before that. “I’m Garrus Vakarian’s wife; I would never try to hurt my family!”

“Riiiiiiiight. Because I’m sure you’re _oh so in love_ with Captain Vakarian. Humans aren’t capable of loyalty like that,” the officer scowled. “You were trying to kill him so you wouldn’t have to hold up your end of the treaty!”

“Please listen to me!” Amanda begged. “I had the pistol because I took it out of Kaidan’s hands. He would’ve shot Garrus otherwise!”

“Just give it up, human,” the second officer shook his head. “If you confess, the Primarch will probably go easy on you for the sake of the treaty. If you don’t, well…things get ugly.”

“I’m not going to confess to something I didn’t do,” Amanda crossed her arms. “Talk to Garrus if you don’t believe me.”

“We’re not going to bother Captain Vakarian on your behalf,” the first officer said. He turned to his compatriot. “Throw her back in a holding cell until the commander decides what to do with them.”

Amanda was roughly tossed in a holding cell across the hall from Kaidan’s. She called, “Kaidan! Are you all right?”

No answer. “Kaidan?”

“I trusted you, Commander,” Kaidan said, after a long silence.

“Kaidan…” Amanda sighed.

“We came here all the way from Earth to bust you loose, and you just stalled us until the cops arrived,” Kaidan went on. “I thought you were a soldier, through and through. I guess I didn’t really know you after all.”

Amanda rubbed her face, exhausted. “I never asked to be rescued, Kaidan. I’m fine where I am. If staying on Palaven means keeping peace, I’ll stay on Palaven.”

“Peace?” Kaidan snorted disdainfully. “More like slavery.”

“Things will get better as we learn to trust each other,” Amanda insisted. “It’s better than war, at any rate.”

“At least in war, we know who our enemies are,” Kaidan said. Amanda sighed again. She greatly respected her former subordinate, but she forgot how stubborn the man could be.

The sound of footsteps down the hall ended their conversation. Two turians came to stand before Amanda’s cell – a cop, and Solana.

“Sol!” Amanda exclaimed.

“Good news,” Solana said. “Garrus talked to Uncle Adrien. They’re going to keep you on house arrest while they decide what’s going to happen to you and your friends. Let’s get you back to Garrus’s apartment. He’s there now.”

“That’s not right,” Amanda shook her head. “I don’t deserve any better treatment than them.”

“You weren’t involved in this mess until they forced you into it,” Solana replied. “Come on. Garrus is worried sick, and Mom hasn’t been herself without you.”

Amanda stood as the officer unlocked her cell door. She paused in front of Kaidan’s cell and murmured, “I’m sorry, Kaidan.”

Kaidan wouldn’t look at her before Solana took her hand and led her away. As Solana drove her to Garrus’s apartment, Amanda asked, “What’s going to happen to the rebels? Some of them were my friends.”

The younger woman was quiet before finally admitting, “I don’t know. Usually, treason is punished with death. But they would’ve been condemned already. I don’t know what Uncle Adrien is up to.”

“I’ll have to have Garrus talk to him,” Amanda said quietly. “They were just trying to help me. I don’t want to be the reason half a dozen good men got killed.”

“Garrus has spent most of the time since your arrest on a vidcall with Uncle Adrien,” Solana replied. “He’ll figure this out.”

 

“Are you really proposing I spare these treasonous swine?” Adrien demanded.

“Yes, uncle, I am,” Garrus sighed. Even through the vidcall, he could tell Adrien was getting more and more annoyed. “They’re not going to try this again.”

“How can you possibly know that?” Adrien scowled.

“They were trying to rescue Amanda from her supposed imprisonment. She made her feelings on the matter very clear. They won’t do it again,” Garrus replied.

“Yes, about your lovely wife,” Adrien said, making Garrus’s heart stop. “I was told she was involved.”

“She was protecting me from the humans. That’s why she had a gun. She had nothing to do with this,” Garrus insisted.

“How can you possibly know that? Are you monitoring her communications?” Adrien asked.

“Well…no,” Garrus admitted. “But she refused to leave with them and stood up to them to save my life. I would think that would be evidence enough.”

“Hardly,” Adrien shook his head. “You need to keep her on a tighter leash.”

“She’s my wife, not a pet,” Garrus scowled. “I don’t need to keep her on a leash.”

“She is a human and a well-renowned soldier. I was told she was very reluctant to participate in the treaty. I do not trust her as far as I can throw her,” Adrien said. “You should be monitoring everything she does for human sympathy.”

Garrus rubbed his face, frustrated. “I trust her, uncle.”

“Then perhaps your sympathies are clouded too,” Adrien replied coldly. “I’m not entirely certain how badly you want this treaty to succeed.”

“Are you accusing me of something?” Garrus demanded angrily.

“I wonder where your loyalties lie, Garrus,” Adrien said. “With your people, or with your wife.”

“She became one of my people when you forced me to marry her,” Garrus growled. “You can’t blame me for that.”

“No, but I’m a bit concerned at the liberties you’re taking with her. I believe you bought her a weapon?” Adrien replied.

“Yes,” Garrus admitted. “Only so she would feel safe.”

“Hm,” Adrien hummed, intrigued. “What made her feel unsafe? More importantly, why do you care for her feelings?”

“She’s on a formerly hostile planet. Of course she feels unsafe. That and…” Garrus trailed off.

“And?” Adrien prompted.

“…when I tried to rape her,” Garrus mumbled, ashamed.

There was a long silence, condemning Garrus’s actions. Adrien finally spoke again with, “Tried?”

This startled Garrus. “…yes? I…stopped. I couldn’t do it.”

“So your marriage cannot even be recognized by the Hierarchy,” Adrien’s voice was full of disappointment. “I told you. If she was unwilling to give, you had to take.”

“I’m not a monster,” Garrus shook his head.

“Hm. Well, perhaps this will give you sufficient motive to establish your dominance over your wife. We need to prove to the humans that even the most renowned of their soldiers has bent to our will, or we will never see an end to these pitiful uprisings,” Adrien said. 

“Dominance? I thought we were supposed to be at _peace_ with them!” Garrus protested.

“It was never meant to be an equitable peace, Garrus. They surrendered to us – we are the victors, and we will take the spoils. Now, I have put down the first insurrection, but there will be more if you choose to disobey me again,” Adrien replied. “So I recommend you listen carefully. I expect to hear you’ve consummated your marriage in two days’ time, or I will have to try you for conspiring with the rebels. And please don’t lie. You will be caught. You were a bright student of the sciences; you know you cannot forge pheromones.”

“What?” Garrus demanded.

“You’ve become soft. Potentially even a human sympathizer. If you cannot prove your dominance over one human, the way you must, I will have to assume you aided them,” Adrien’s voice was ice.

“I…” Garrus stammered. Flashbacks ran through his head of what he had done to Amanda that night…how she’d sobbed and fought and…

“I will leave you to your thoughts, Garrus,” Adrien said. “I pray you will make the right decision.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! You've been warned.
> 
> You've also been warned that I'm still learning how to write NSFW stuff. Forgive any awkwardness or awfulness. <3

Garrus closed the vidcall and sat down heavily on the bed. Fuck, this was all wrong. His own uncle was going to force him to rape his wife – again – or be prosecuted for treason.

Amanda came into the room, worry written all over her face. “Garrus? I heard shouting. Is everything okay?”

“What did you hear?” Garrus asked, voice heavy.

“…not much. Just that you were talking to the Primarch,” Amanda replied. She knelt in front of him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Garrus, I’ve never seen you like this. What’s wrong?”

He snarled in anger, shoving her away from him; she fell hard to the ground. He didn’t want to touch her, didn’t want to see her – didn’t want to be reminded of how little his family thought of her. “Everything is!”

She backed away, obviously scared. “I…I don’t understand.”

Fuck everything, Garrus’s anger was so misplaced. He was taking it out on her, making Amanda think _she_ had done something wrong…

“I’m sorry,” Garrus breathed, anger melting away as he saw the fear in Amanda’s eyes. “I…I just…”

“What did he say?” Amanda asked, slowly rising and coming to stand before him again.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Garrus turned away.

With a trembling hand, Amanda turned Garrus’s head back to face her. Her skin was so soft against his mandible, so warm, making heat pulse through his veins. She whispered, “You can tell me.”

“No, I can’t,” Garrus shook his head. “Not this.”

“I’m your wife, Garrus,” Amanda half-pleaded. “You can tell me anything.”

They were quiet a long time, Amanda’s hand pressed to Garrus’s cheek while Garrus stared into space, thinking. Finally, he conceded. “You were right. It was Adrien on the vidcall.”

“What did he say?” Amanda asked again.

Garrus swallowed hard before reluctantly managing, “…he thinks you were complicit in the rebellion. He wants you imprisoned for treason.”

“I can handle that,” Amanda replied with a dark laugh. “It’s not worse than being in the war.”

“There’s a way out,” Garrus replied brokenheartedly. “But…it’s worse.”

“Oh?” Amanda asked nervously.

“…we can consummate our marriage. He knows I backed out the night of our wedding,” Garrus finally said.

Amanda was quiet a long time. “How is that worse?”

“You know what I’ve done to you,” Garrus’s voice was a ghost of its normal self. “I can’t do it again.”

“What happens if we don’t?” Amanda asked.

“You go to jail…and I may be prosecuted for treason as well. For aiding your friends,” Garrus replied.

Amanda recoiled in shock. “He would do that to you?”

“Apparently.”

The woman’s trembling ceased. “Then take me.”

“What?” Garrus demanded. “Amanda…”

“You don’t want to force yourself on me,” Amanda said, voice confident and strong. “So don’t. Take me willingly.”

“Being forced to fuck me isn’t exactly ‘willingly,’” Garrus shook his head. “I won’t do it. I won’t rape you again. I care about you too much.”

“What if I wanted you anyway?” Amanda breathed, her voice sending tremors down Garrus’s body.

“Then that’s one thing, but…” Garrus protested weakly.

“Don’t you believe me?” Amanda asked.

“I do,” Garrus replied earnestly.

“Then is it so hard to believe me when I say I care about you, too?” Amanda demanded. “Is it too fantastical to say I want to be with you?”

“But…I…” Garrus whispered.

Amanda couldn’t take any more of his disbelief. She leaned down and pressed her soft lips to his hard ones, showering him with rough kisses. Confused, Garrus was stone-still a moment before kissing her back as best he could.

Instinct took over and Garrus grabbed her arms, pulling her down onto the bed beside him. She laughed, a little thrill of anticipation pooling in her stomach.

Garrus pulled her close, pressing harsh, unpracticed kisses to her lips as his hands fumbled with the belt around her waist. He breathed between kisses, “Spirits, Amanda, you’re perfect.”

“And you’re _ahhh!_ ” Amanda’s words were interrupted with a sharp exhale as Garrus stopped fumbling with her belt long enough to fondle her breasts.

Garrus practically growled in delight, palming her breasts with more enthusiasm; Amanda moaned. After a moment, though, he pulled away, a strange emotion in his sky-blue eyes. Amanda asked woozily, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I…don’t want to do it like this. Fast and hard…too rough…that’s not how I want our first time to be. It reminds me of…our wedding night,” Garrus mumbled.

“Then what do you want to do?” Amanda asked gently, head cleared by Garrus’s distress.

“I…” Garrus blushed blue. He mumbled something inaudible before clearing his throat and saying louder, “I…want to make love to you.”

Amanda blushed as well, surprised at the heartfelt, innocent nature of his declaration. She managed, “O-okay.”

Relief spread clear across Garrus’s face. He put a gentle hand to her cheek, leaning forward to press a much softer kiss to her lips. He murmured, “You’re beautiful. Tonight, and every night.”

Amanda kissed him back, daring to slip her tongue between his mouth plates and row of sharp teeth. When she finally stopped to take a breath she whispered, “And you’re the best husband a girl could ask for.”

A half-growl, half-moan broke from Garrus’s throat and he pulled Amanda onto his lap, kissing her with an unpracticed gentleness. One hand remained around her shoulders to keep her from falling while the other slowly sunk down, down to cup her ass.

Amanda moaned a little at the contact, at the long, rough-soft tongue that slipped between her lips to tangle with her own. Good God, she could imagine an almost infinite number of uses for his tongue.

Instinctively she ground her hips against him, disappointed when she didn’t find the glorious friction she was looking for. She murmured against his mouth, “I know your people have dicks, so where the fuck is yours? You can’t tease me like this.”

“I’m teasing?” Garrus murmured back. He growled in pleasure. “Don’t worry. It’ll make an appearance soon enough.”

Amanda let out a mock sigh, so Garrus went on, “I think I have some ideas, though.”

He turned and gently laid her down on the bed, adding, “I think you’re wearing far too many clothes.”

“I think we both are,” Amanda replied, with a teasing smile. She undid the belt around her waist, tossing it to the floor, soon followed by her shirt.

“So…um…I take it your…breasts…are…” Garrus trailed off lamely, gesturing at Amanda’s plain black bra.

“An erogenous zone? Fuck yeah,” she nodded. She grabbed his large, bony hands, placing one on each cup of her bra. “Feels good.”

Garrus, more than a little curious, cupped and gently squeezed her breasts as he had before; his ministrations soon had Amanda squirming with pleasure beneath him.

Something about the sight of her squirming seemed to have a strange effect on Garrus; he stopped, causing her to protest, before stripping off his shirt and undoing some of the clasps on his pants.

“Please don’t stop,” Amanda begged, quickly reaching behind her to undo her bra before tossing it to the floor. “Please.”

Garrus returned his attention to her breasts, working them in his hands, oh so gently. Amanda breathed, “You can get a little rougher with them.”

So Garrus leaned over and took one in his mouth, gently sucking her nipple into his mouth and swirling his rough tongue around it. Amanda practically yelled her pleasure, voice breaking with a sharp, “Ohh-hhh-hhh…”

Her husband growled his pleasure, instinctively beginning to thrust against her. Amanda moaned, “Get these clothes off of and take me already.”

Garrus obeyed, practically ripping her pants and panties off in one fell swoop. He shoved his pants off and threw them to the floor alongside hers, leaving both of them completely bare for the other.

For what it was worth, Amanda’s desire-muddled brain mused, Garrus was beautiful. His gray plates shone in the dim light, his muscles rippling beneath hard skin.

And his once-AWOL dick had finally arrived to the party, dark blue and ridged with soft spines. Damn, it looked like it would feel amazing.

“Please,” Amanda pleaded.

Garrus put a hand on either side of her, holding his weight as he straddled her. “Say it.”

“Garrus…” Amanda protested, embarrassed.

“I want…I _need_ to know you want this. Tell me,” Garrus whispered hoarsely.

“I want you, Garrus. I want you inside me. I want to make love to you,” Amanda begged.

Garrus pressed another kiss to her lips before ever so gently pressing against her entrance. Fuck, he was _huge_. Amanda let out a cry of surprise as the first ridge entered her, quickly turning into a moan. She was right. He did feel amazing.

“I need more,” she rasped in his ear, and he obliged.

He was gentle and slow, making sure she could take each blessed inch of him before moving any further. It was an agonizing game, waiting for him to move, but Amanda couldn’t imagine it any other way.

Garrus was hilt-deep in her when he finally began to move in slow, gentle, almost lazy thrusts. His body trembled against the instinctive urge to go harder and faster.

Amanda pressed a hand to each of his mandibles, pulling his face down to hers so she could kiss him. She whispered, “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

Garrus kissed her with more force, more passion, than he had before, their tongues tangling in her mouth as his thrusts slowly grew faster. He growled, voice dark with lust, “I’ve never seen a creature more beautiful than you. There’s no better sound than you saying my name.”

Amanda smirked despite herself, despite the pounding heat in her veins. “You’ll have to earn that, then.”

Garrus acquiesced, returning his attention to her breasts. He roughly grasped them, earning a delighted gasp from Amanda, before he took one in his mouth again. This time he was rougher, sucking harder and biting gently, sending shudders up and down Amanda’s body.

“Please don’t stop,” she pleaded feebly.

He obeyed, working his mouth even harder, gently working her other nipple with his free hand. Amanda let out a moan. She wasn’t going to last much longer at this rate, not with how quickly heat had gathered in her belly.

“Are…are you…?” Garrus panted with a particularly hard thrust. Amanda roughly grabbed the back of his neck and hissed, “ _Do that again._ ”

Again, her compliant lover obeyed, thrusting hard, hitting that perfect spot inside her. She cried out, “ _Fuck!_ ”

Garrus stopped, starting to pull out of her with a concerned, “Did…I hurt you?”

Amanda grabbed his hips, forcing him back into her. “If you stop, so help me God, I will kill you. That was… _amazing_.”

A deep snarl of need rumbled in Garrus’s throat. He pinned Amanda to the bed, pushing as hard and deep into her as he could. She rocked her hips up to meet each thrust, desperate and keening for release.

“I’m…Garrus…I’m gonna…” Amanda managed between thrusts, all the wind practically knocked from her body. “I…”

Garrus leaned down to press a rough kiss to her cheek, murmuring, “Come for me, Amanda.”

Between his baritone voice rumbling in her ear and one final thrust deep into her, Amanda was thrown over the edge. She wailed, “Ohhhhh, Ga-aaa-rrus! Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhh!”

The tightening of the muscles around his cock was more than enough for Garrus; two more thrusts and he came harder than he ever had, pushed so deep into his wife he would later fear he’d hurt her.

Amanda mewled again with pleasure at the feeling of Garrus’s release, and it was all he could take. He growled as he came before instinctively biting down as hard as he could on Amanda’s beautiful, delicate shoulder.

She cried out, this time in pain, but Garrus was too far gone to hear her as he rode out his orgasm before sinking bonelessly to the bed beside Amanda.

“That was…” Amanda breathed.

“…incredible,” Garrus agreed.

“Also…a little painful,” Amanda laughed. Garrus sat up to look at what she was indicating.

There was blood _everywhere_.

“I…” Garrus stammered weakly. “I…didn’t…”

“You bit me,” Amanda said. She chuckled. “It was kind of hot, I’ll admit it.”

Garrus stared at her, overcome by both the beauty of Amanda’s afterglow and the horrible bite wound on her shoulder.

Had he…really done that?

“…just maybe next time not so hard,” Amanda was saying, barely registering in Garrus’s ears.

“I…” Garrus managed, reaching out to gently touch the bloody wound.

“It’s okay,” Amanda assured him. “We have some medi-gel in the linen closet. I’ll get some and be fine in a jiffy. I’ll have a scar, though.”

She got up, heading to get the medi-gel, not noticing the slack-jawed look Garrus wore.

He’d once dreamed of a mark there, in that same junction between her neck and shoulder. A bondmark.

Amanda had no idea, did she? Of turian bondmarks and how, though turians would relieve stress with no strings attached, when they did bond, it was for life?

He may as well have proposed to her, for real this time, and she was none the wiser.

Garrus vowed to keep it that way. He had hurt her enough – he didn’t need to add the implications of his undying love for her into the mix.

No, he swore, he would never tell her just how much that scar meant.


	12. Chapter 12

“I’m relieved to hear you made the right decision,” Adrien said, taking a drink of his tea. “I was worried.”

“Keeping peace is the most important thing,” Garrus replied. He hadn’t mentioned – nor planned to mention – that he hadn’t been forced to take anything from Amanda, besides her interspecies virginity, that the night had been gentle and passionate and perfect. “I wasn’t about to start anything that would endanger that.”

“Yes, well,” Adrien went on. “Regarding that.”

“Don’t tell me there’s been more uprisings,” Garrus sighed.

“No. Our intelligence reports indicate that there is a batarian slave ship in the Sol system, dangerously close to Earth. I’m concerned about the potential repercussions of a slaver near Earth. I’d like you to handle it,” Adrien said.

“Are they planning on hitting Earth?” Garrus asked, alarmed.

“We’re not sure,” Adrien admitted. “But if they were to try…it would be disastrous. The humans are under our protection now. We must prove we can protect them.”

“You almost sound concerned about them,” Garrus replied bitterly.

“I am. They are part of the Hierarchy, and my duty as Primarch is to protect all of the Hierarchy’s citizens,” Adrien replied.

 _Just not Amanda_ , Garrus thought snidely. Aloud he said, “I’ll take my usual team. Saren, Nihlus, and Nyreen. And Amanda.”

“Are you certain it’s wise to take her into combat?” Adrien asked.

“We called her the Angel of Death for a reason,” Garrus replied. “She’s the strongest biotic I’ve ever seen and I trust her not to turn on us.”

“Your decision – she is your wife. Please ensure she is not killed on this mission. There will be political hell to pay if she is,” Adrien said.

A chill ran down Garrus’s spine at the thought of Amanda, dead in his arms. His heart began to pound and his throat ran dry at the horrible images spiraling through his head, until Adrien went on, “The slavers are currently based on an ice moon called Europa, a few planets away from Earth. You should be able to engage them in combat there.”

“Ice. My favorite,” Garrus quipped. He stood. “We’ll take care of it. I won’t let those bastards hurt any humans.”

“Good. Spirits be with you, Garrus,” Adrien said.

 

Garrus’s team was overjoyed to be sent back into action. Nyreen had nearly kissed him, she was so excited, while Nihlus and Saren let out whoops of joy. Amanda was more withdrawn, but still eager for a good fight.

The flight from Palaven to Europa was a long one, too quiet and uneventful compared to the battle they knew was coming.

“So, uh, Vakarian,” Saren began, after a long, awkward silence.

“Yeah?” Amanda and Garrus answered as one.

Saren paused. “Um…”

Garrus laughed. “Yeah, Saren?”

“What should we, er, call the missus?” Saren asked.

“Amanda is fine,” Amanda said.

“But…you’re a higher rank,” Nyreen said.

“So am I, and that’s never stopped you from disrespecting me,” Garrus called from his pilot’s seat.

Nihlus laughed. “Yeah, but we like her.”

“Glad to see you all getting along,” Garrus chuckled.

“You should’ve invited us over so we could’ve met sooner,” Nyreen scowled. “Hard to be a good squad when you don’t know how the other works.”

“I’ll provide some cover with my biotics,” Amanda said. “You guys take them out, and that’ll be that.”

“Quick and easy. I like it,” Nihlus nodded.

“So…these slavers,” Amanda said. “You keep calling them batarians. Is that a turian word that my translator isn’t picking up?”

“No. They’re another species. Nasty things,” Saren replied. “Not as pretty as us. They tend to be mercs or slavers. They die like anything else.”

“Don’t get careless,” Nyreen warned. “These fuckers are brutal. My cousin Tiran had a nasty tangle with them a few years back.”

“Slavers are slavers, no matter what species they are,” Amanda said harshly. “I won’t let them hurt any of my people.”

“And that’s why we brought you along,” Garrus smiled.

“And I just thought it was because you liked me,” Amanda teased. Garrus laughed.

“Look at you two, the very image of domestic bliss,” Saren said, surprised. “Color me impressed.”

“It took a while,” Amanda admitted. “I had to kick his ass a few times.”

The squad laughed. Nyreen smirked, “Looks like you’ve gone soft, sir.”

Garrus snapped back a retort, making the squad laugh again.

As the four turians turned to playful banter – mostly at Garrus’s expense – Amanda quieted, content to watch them bicker.

They were a little family, the way she had been with her old squad. It made it her miss Kaidan, Ash, and James, but at the same time…it made her feel at home again. This was the first of hopefully many missions with Garrus’s squad, and Amanda already felt accepted and trusted by them.

She smiled.

 

They stepped off the ship on Europa hours later, the turians bundled up in thermal armor, while Amanda simply wore her old N7 armor. Nihlus immediately complained, “It’s cold.”

“It’s an ice moon,” Nyreen scowled back. “Let’s find this slaver base and get out of here. I, for one, don’t like the cold.”

“You’re all a bunch of babies,” Amanda laughed. “Let’s go.”

“Be careful,” Garrus warned as Amanda led the way to the coordinates Adrien had given them. “I’m sure they’ll have sensors set up to warn for enemies.”

“I’ve done this before!” Amanda protested, though she waited for the others to catch up to her. “I know what I’m doing.”

“I just worry,” Garrus admitted anxiously, putting a hand on Amanda’s shoulder. “Maybe I shouldn’t have insisted you come…”

“And let you get all the glory?” Amanda said skeptically. “No way in hell. I’m not some sighing maiden to leave at home.”

“I know,” Garrus sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine,” Amanda waved him off. She pointed ahead of them. “Look. There’s a strange rock formation in the distance. I’d bet that’s their base.”

“Orders, sir?” Nyreen asked. “…or ma’am?”

Garrus and Amanda looked at each other, both used to being the one in command. After a moment Amanda smiled and said, “Orders, Captain Vakarian? It’s your team.” 

“Nihlus and I will stay back and snipe the bastards. Amanda, you, Saren, and Nyreen will head up the center and draw them out. Don’t go too far, and retreat if you have to,” Garrus said. “Set your comms to channel 6.89-Chi.”

“Roger that,” Amanda nodded, tuning to the comms channel.

“Yes, sir,” Nyreen agreed. Nihlus and Saren nodded as well, before the group split up.

As Amanda’s group slowly crossed the rocky tundra, alarm sirens began to wail from the batarian base.

“Shit!” Amanda exclaimed. “They saw us coming. Get to cover, and get ready for a fight!”

She ducked behind a rock, holding her pistol in one hand, her biotics flaring to life in the other. Saren and Nyreen found other boulders to hide behind, their assault rifles ready.

“Watch yourselves!” Garrus’s voice crackled through the comms. “A squad is headed your way. Footsoldiers, moderately armed.”

“Copy that,” Amanda replied. “Hold off until we start to get overwhelmed. No need in alerting them to your position too soon.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Garrus replied. Amanda smiled. She could get used to him calling her that. Maybe the next time they were in the mood…

“Amanda!” Saren called, shooting the soldier who’d stepped in direct view of her. “We get what Vakarian’s subvocals were saying, but get it together!”

Amanda shook off her daze and killed the next batarian ho came into sight.

Wait, what had Garrus’s subvocals been saying? Was he thinking of her, too, during the battle? A warm feeling spread through her chest, remaining there even after she had to omni-blade a soldier to death.

A coldness spread in its place as she remembered that Garrus was likely still in love with his former girlfriend, that there was no way he could ever love her the way she loved him. She let out a snarl of rage and hurt, sending a shockwave towards the oncoming horde.

“Vakarian wasn’t wrong,” Nyreen called. “You _are_ a scary biotic.”

“Garrus!” Amanda yelled into her comm. “You can start shooting now!”

“Roger that,” Garrus replied. Seconds later, one of the slavers fell dead.

“Shit!” Saren cried. Amanda whirled around to find him grappling with a large batarian.

“Saren!” Amanda yelled, running towards him. With a fearsome snarl, she gathered her biotics in her free hand and punched the batarian hard, sending it flying.

“Shit, thanks, Amanda,” Saren said, shooting the airborne batarian dead. “I got sloppy.”

Amanda shot another batarian dead and warped another, while Saren ran for new cover. Nyreen was holding her own with her shotgun, but the waves kept coming.

“How’re you holding up down there?” Garrus asked.

“Barely,” Amanda replied. “We needed a bigger team for this mission.”

“I work best with small teams. We’ll be okay,” Garrus assured her. “The waves are starting to slow.”

“Doesn’t look like it,” Amanda growled back.

“Watch your six!” Garrus cried.

Amanda whirled around, sending a batarian flying with a singularity. She yelled, “Saren, Nyreen, group up with me!”

They ran to her side. She ordered, “We need to work as one or we’re not going to make it against these motherfuckers. I’ll create a biotic barrier and shield you, and we’ll head out of cover. One heavy strike and that should do it!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Nyreen agreed.

With a grunt of effort, Amanda threw up a biotic shield and began moving forward. Nyreen and Saren stayed close to her side, mowing down the batarians.

Between the forward offensive and Nihlus and Garrus’s marksmanship, the battle didn’t last much longer.

“There!” Amanda beamed. “Piece of cake.”

“Get back here so I can make sure you’re all in one piece,” Garrus ordered.

Amanda laughed, turning to face Garrus. She waved, smiling, as Nyreen and Saren started to head back towards the shuttle.

Then, a groan.

Confused, she turned around.

A batarian was crawling towards her, hatred in its eyes. It gasped, “…die…”

Garrus, who had been exchanging congratulations with his teammates, heard Amanda’s noise of surprise.

He turned just in time to see and hear a single gunshot and a gargled scream.


	13. Chapter 13

The rest of the team would swear for years that the next few seconds were in slow motion, as though under a spell.

Amanda looked like an angel as she fell, her hair spread around her head like a fiery halo, her arms outstretched like broken wings. Blood sprayed from her wound, spattering the ground with a scarlet mist. It played like a scene from a dramatic vid, or a master painter’s work, something horrifying and beautiful.

She hit the ground with a feeble finality and the spell was broken.

Garrus heard rather than felt his scream of, “ _AMANDA!_ ”

“Sir, wait!” Nyreen protested.

Garrus’s feet moved of their own accord, his rifle slipping from numbed hands as he ran to Amanda. His teammates’ protests and warnings of danger fell on grief-deafened ears.

Fuck danger, fuck his friends, fuck _everything but Amanda_ – she needed him.

The distance to her may well have been meters or light years, for all Garrus could tell. Everything was distorted, shifting, changing; his vision wavered, alternating blurry and focused. The only thing that never changed was the broken body on the ground. His heart pounded, his blood ran cold, his body numb as he ran, blind to everything but Amanda.

He finally reached her, dropping to knees and cradling her in his arms. He pleaded, voice broken, “Amanda?”

No response.

“No,” Garrus begged, chest feeling too tight. No, she couldn’t…she just couldn’t… “Amanda…please…”

Nothing.

Garrus howled his grief, subvocals keening as he cried out. “No! No! No!”

A weak, ragged, wet gasp broke from Amanda’s bloody throat, her eyelids fluttering as they struggled to open. She hacked and coughed, spattering Garrus’s armor with a fine red mist of her blood.

Frantically he dialed up his omni-tool, delivering a massive dose of medi-gel to the gaping wound in her chest. He begged, “Stay with me, sweetheart, please. Don’t leave me alone.”

Amanda’s only response was to go limp again in his arms, blood trickling down her chin. Garrus let out another keening howl, bowing his head. Medi-gel could only go so far, and it had done nothing for her.

Amanda was going to die.

His wife…his _bondmate_ …was going to die.

“Sir!” it was Nyreen again, running up to him and placing an urgent hand on his shoulder. “She needs medical attention! Let’s get her out of here!”

Garrus shook his head weakly. He didn’t want Nyreen here as he mourned his dying wife. Mourning was a private thing, not to be shared in public. She needed to leave…needed to let him have these last few moments with Amanda.

“Sir!” Nyreen shook him, violently. “She’s still alive! We’ll get her to a hospital on Earth, just come on!” She shoved Garrus to his feet. “The faster we move, the more likely it is she’ll live!”

This reached Garrus’s grief-addled brain and he followed her back to the ship, the pair running as fast as they could. Amanda was cradled close to Garrus’s chest, lifeless in his arms like a little broken doll.

“Setting course for Earth,” Nihlus, now the pilot, said as Garrus and Nyreen sprinted aboard. “We’ll get her taken care of, sir. Don’t worry.”

Worrying was all Garrus could do. Somehow, he prayed, his desperate worry would keep her alive until she reached her homeworld. It had to.

 

Garrus sat outside the operating room, face in his hands as he contemplated the spirits-cursed mission that had landed Amanda in emergency surgery. _He_ had shot the batarian that shot her – why wasn’t his aim truer? Why hadn’t he finished it off? Why wasn’t he more careful? Why, why, why?

“Sir?” it was Nihlus.

“Yes?” Garrus asked quietly, not even daring to look up in case he would see any more images of that bright red blood.

“Any reports?” Nihlus asked.

Garrus shook his head. “She’s still in surgery. The doctor told me the bullet punctured a major artery. The odds…aren’t good.”

“She’s a fighter if I’ve ever seen one,” Nihlus nodded. “If anyone can do it, it’s her. She’s a lot like you, stubborn to the end.”

“Let’s hope,” Saren said, walking up to join them. “Vakarian, you have a vidcall from the Primarch in a private conference room. It sounds important.”

“You can tell my esteemed uncle that I’m a little busy at the moment,” Garrus growled. It was Adrien’s fault they were even in this situation.

No…it was his. _Garrus_ had been the one to insist Amanda came along. If it weren’t for him…

“…he needs to see you _now_ ,” Saren was insisting. “We’ll keep an ear out for Amanda. You need to take that call.”

Garrus heaved himself to his feet, unable to drum up the willpower to argue. Saren led the way to a room down the hall, where a hologram of Adrien was already set up. Saren left as quietly as he entered, heading back in the direction of Amanda’s operating room.

“You wanted something?” Garrus asked tiredly.

“Yes, a few things,” Adrien nodded. “I understand your mission was a success?”

“Depends on how you define success,” Garrus mumbled. “The slavers are dead. Earth isn’t in any danger."

“Good. Glad to hear it,” Adrien said, pleased. He paused and cocked his head. “You look unhappy. Which brings me to my next point, and my more important one.”

Garrus sighed. The last thing he wanted right now was to catch hell about Amanda’s injury – he was already giving himself hell for it.

“There have been rumors that the humans are holding you and your team against your will,” Adrien went on. “It’s a serious accusation, particularly after my… _leniency_ …with the conspirators who tried to ‘free’ Amanda.”

“What?” Garrus asked, baffled. “Nobody’s holding anyone against their will. My team and I are still here because Amanda is.”

“That’s a relief to hear,” Adrien said. “How is she doing? Arterius mentioned she was injured.”

“She’s as close to dead as you can get without actually being dead,” Garrus said, voice catching in his throat. “They’re still trying to save her.”

“Spirits willing, she will recover,” Adrien replied. “The treaty aside, I understand she has come to mean much to you. I know the pain of losing loved ones. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy, much less my dear nephew.”

Garrus simply nodded, unable to speak. As harsh as Adrien had been on him, despite the demands he’d made, Garrus knew his uncle cared, knew he loved him like the son Adrien had lost in the war.

“While I understand you would likely want to stay on Earth until Amanda recovers, you are needed back home,” Adrien went on, after a pause.

“What?” Garrus said. “No! I’m not leaving her side until she’s well.”

“Your mother heard the rumors of your supposed imprisonment,” Adrien said. “She’s been inconsolable. Dr. Solus’s cure for Corpalis is helping her, but she can’t seem to believe anything but the worst. It’s been having a severe impact on her recovery.”

Garrus’s already broken heart sank. Amanda was dying, but so was his mother. How could he possibly decide whose side to stay by? Adrien went on, “Please, Garrus. Your family needs you.”

“I…” Garrus managed, torn. Finally he asked, “Can’t I just vidcall Mom? She’ll know I’m alright.”

“Your mother couldn’t consistently recognize you in person, due to her illness. Do you really think she could recognize a vid?” Adrien asked.

Garrus hesitated. His wife, or his mother? Whose life did he value more?

He sighed. “I’ll come home so Mom knows I’m alright. I don’t want to risk her treatment. But then I’m coming back to Earth until Amanda recovers.”

Adrien nodded. “I might leave a member of your team with Amanda until you return, so you needn’t worry excessively. Someone to update you.”

“I’ll talk to Nyreen,” Garrus nodded. “Saren and Nihlus need to come back with me before they get into trouble.”

“I’ll let your family know to expect you,” Adrien said. “It will be quite the relief." 

Garrus mumbled an agreement and closed the vidcall, sighing heavily. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Amanda behind, but he couldn’t do anything for her right now – he _could_ do something for his mother.

Duty called, even if he rarely heeded it.

 

The first thing Amanda knew upon waking was _pain_. Her chest felt like it had been ripped open and badly put back together – every breath was torture.

She groaned and tried to turn over, sending a shockwave of excruciating pain up her body. She screamed, “ _FUCK!_ ”

“You’re awake!” it was a familiar flanging voice, but not the one she wanted to hear.

Amanda opened her eyes and saw Nyreen sitting at her bedside, worry all over her red-painted face. The turian asked, “What’s wrong? Do you need anything?”

“Where am I?” Amanda asked groggily, looking around.

“A hospital on Earth. Do you remember what happened?” Nyreen said.

“…not really,” Amanda replied. Thinking made her head hurt.

“We were on Europa. A batarian shot you. We got you back to Earth for treatment,” Nyreen explained.

The memories came back to Amanda – a dying batarian, a raised pistol, and agony. How could she have been so careless? She was such a fucking idiot…

Then fear took over, when she realized who was missing. She sat up fast, nearly yanking her IV out in the process, as she demanded frantically, “Garrus! Where…did…is he…?”

“He’s all right. We’re all fine. He got summoned back to Palaven,” Nyreen soothed gently. “He wanted to be here, he really did.”

“Duty calls,” Amanda sighed, strangely sad about his absence.

“His family called,” Nyreen said. “His mother thought he was being held captive here, and it affected her response to the Corpalis treatment. He went back home so she’d know everything was all right, before he comes back here. He’ll be here until you can go home.”

Amanda nodded, relieved. So he did want to be there. He _did_ care. 

Nyreen hesitated, then went on, “Sorry for asking, but that wound on your shoulder…?”

Amanda looked down at the mark on her shoulder, blushed furiously, reluctantly admitting, “It…uh, happened the other night. Garrus got…carried away.”

Nyreen’s browplates drew together in contemplation. She was silent a long time before saying, “…I don’t think so, Amanda.”

“What?” Amanda asked, puzzled.

“Turians are strong enough that we could kill each other while mating if we weren’t careful. We don’t get ‘carried away.’ Especially not if our mate was as fragile as a human,” Nyreen said. “If he did this, it wasn’t an accident.”

Amanda’s laugh was strangled – she had just started becoming comfortable around Nyreen, and this wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have with a brand new friend. “...so he gets off by biting. There’s worse things.”

Nyreen’s eyes widened. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?” Amanda demanded.

The turian fidgeted, looking suddenly nervous. “Er…maybe it’s not my place to say, if he didn’t tell you…”

“Tell me _what?_ ” Amanda insisted.

Nyreen sighed. “Humans have a way they mark their spouses, yes?”

“We have wedding rings,” Amanda said, bewildered by the change in topic. “Why?”

“Turians have bondmarks,” Nyreen replied. “We consummate our marriages, per the law, and we usually…mark each other then. A bite, a scratch…anything like that. They heal as matching scars in the same place on the body. It’s a private thing, but it says that your mate is _yours_.”

When Amanda was slow to catch on, Nyreen said, “Amanda, Garrus bondmarked you that night. He was saying, for anyone to see that scar to hear, that you are his and he is yours.”

Amanda opened her mouth to protest, so Nyreen went on softly, “He was saying he loves you.”


End file.
